Keeping my guard up is so tiring, do I really need to?

so I'm 15 and probably have been through more with relationships than most girls my age have. I'm extremely skeptical, and I force myself to assume every time something unfavorable happens when talking to a guy, like he doesn't reply, or things like that, that the relationship (or what could've been a relationship) is over so that way I'm not disappointed. I do want to be with someone, but I feel like I can't trust them... I began talking to someone new, he came on kinda strong but he's sweet and seems like a good guy, but this other part of me is saying not to trust him, and that he'll end up playing me, based on minuscule details I think I found, And I don't know what to believe. This happens every time I'm interested in someone and I don't know what to do


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is tiring I know! But it's a gift that you understand this and are doing it!

    If you master the skills of being skeptical and finding clues, you'll almost be the "all knowing God" in my terms.

    For instance, my friends don't include me in anything they do. But one morning they all came to school late. One by one. They were tired, exhausted, but didn't say anything. I concluded they went out somewhere and didn't invite me.

    Found out later that they did. Went over to each other's house and watched a movie and had a fricking cuddle session. "Oh hey man. You totally missed out on last night. We had the most best cuddle session... Oh yeah that's right. I didn't invite you."

    Here's my personal life motto:
    TNO. Trust No One.
    Every small action has a bigger picture or reason to it. Never let your guard down. Always doubt things. Research what people say. Test them. And you'll know who to keep close, or who to shun out forever. Mark my words. My example is only one of many.


Most Helpful Girl

  • While trusting your Instincts is a great idea, I think you're also sabotaging your relationships before they amount to anything because of personal reasons. Sounds like you have some inner work to do to find happiness before you can find it with anyone else.
    Having a guard up is OK, but you don't wanna go into new relationships with one otherwise you'll always assume the worst and that's how it'll play out for you.
    It sounds like you have a fear of rejection and some insecurities as well. Your very young, perhaps sending more time focusing on you first will help you decode many of the reasons you are feeling this way.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like you need to work on your trust of others. Sure any one of those things you imagine could go wrong, but you usually end it before talking to the guy about it or waiting to see if you are just reacting a little too quickly.

  • I won't say that i have any experiences to match as till late highschool girls didn't exist for me :p. People were people gender just happened to be a thing.

    For what i would say is just slow down get to know people. As you won't have to be on guard as if they are doing something they will be the one to slip up. Time favors the one with nothing to hide, as things come to light sooner or later.


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