Is it true that if a girl shows interest early on & takes initiative that the guy will lose interest because she's "too into him"?

I was discussing my dating life with my older cousin again... And I told him recently I had added this guy on Facebook and asked him out myself. We had matched on tinder and talked a little, but then he disappeared and it was bizarre since he was just stating he'd like to talk somewhere else. I'm confident in my looks and in my inner self, I believe I am a good catch, and I thought why not give it a shot, otherwise we'd most likely never talk again, especially since I deleted tinder afterwards. I added the dude and he accepted, I asked him out and he replied he definitely would like to! When I had told my cousin this he really ripped me apart, saying I was so desperate, that the guy thinks "oh shit now this girl is so into me" and he is NOT thinking "oh cool this super pretty nice girl likes me, and she asked me out awesome" or whatever, my cousin's words. He said I will not be successful in dating EVER if I continue to "pursue" the man and take initiative. I rarely ever do but I told him this situation was different. The guy I'm after really has NO girl action on his fb, he is a super quite kinda nerdy dude... I honestly just wanted to get things moving and show interest... But apparently showing interest is a "no-no"? Why is it bad for a girl to show interest in a guy if she is interested? How is that coming off desperate or needy? It's not as if I am blowing him up, texting him 24:7, or messaging him needy messages. I'm honestly just wanting and trying to meet the guy.

  • No, not true
  • Yes, true
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not true, unless she really smothers him, basically don't do things (or as frequent) that would make you think a guy was being too needy/smothering you.


What Guys Said 1

  • Probably yes. As much as we state that we would like girls to approach us, that may be an easy feeling to have. It's confusing and stupid.. but.. guess what.. men are not as simple as they want you to believe.


What Girls Said 1

  • Good question, I'd like to know this too.