Am I sabotaging myself? I can't stop this anxiety, but I want to be with him. Please help?

Whenever I get into relationships a lot of time I seem to struggle with trust, and I can't tell wether I'm just overreacting to something, or if I should actually be worried. Everyone says take some time to work on yourself and that will fix things but I did, I didn't even flirt with a guy for four months after my ex (of only 2 months) dumped me and I really thought I worked things out with myself. I've been hurt a lot but recently I began talking to a guy I like a lot. The thing is he leaves my messages on read, a lot.. He has told me he doesn't flirt with any other girls, but I still don't trust he's not going to disappear on me, or he'll just try to use me. Yesterday he didn't really reply all day, and maybe he was busy and I told myself I would just trust him and I was doing good with knowing he got my message, but then I saw him post pictures on social media, and I knew he had been texting over snapchat (the app lets you tell) and got really upset. but he ended up texting me again at the end of the day. Today the same thing happened with him ignoring me, like right now, and I'm driving myself crazy. I'm trying to trust that he won't go ghost but I can't!!! I know I sound crazy, but I can't help it and it's just making me so depressed and upset. I can't help but think the last thing I said to him may have made him think i was weird, or he's angry at me, I just don't know. This all sounds so stupid but it's such a big problem for me. And it's weird because I don't need a guy to rely on (usually) and I was doing well on my own, but I was really lonely. Please don't hate on this, just does anyone have any advice on how I can just trust him and stop the anxiety?


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What Guys Said 1

  • there's no way to stop it, let the pain kill you inside.


What Girls Said 1

  • You need to take some deep breathes Hun. I have the same problem I had seriously bad relationship and it left me with massive issues. I was the same with my ex and in the end I had to let him go cause I thought the same things. I was with a guy for three years and had to end it cause he got violent and controlled me a lot and I struggled with a guy I met after him. I'm still working on myself a year and a half after what happened. He may just be busy cause my ex was the same it took him ages to reply and I just thought instead of waiting for a reply I'll go do something myself like see friends and family. I tried to trust him and thought to myself that there is no point stressing out over something that could be nothing and if there was something I would find out eventually and that I shouldn't go looking for something X