I'm losong hope, is it me?

I'm a single 30 year old woman. I have a good job, educated, I'm not in great shape (muscle wise) but I have an average build with an hourglass figure and average height, I've been told I have a pretty face. I'm incredibly social and giving. I have a lot of friends - I'm very personable, fun, love to try new things, and I can strike up a conversation with just about anyone. I often exhaust myself by putting the needs of my family and friends before my own. In fact, I rarely put myself first, and pretty much the only thing I want for myself is to find the right person to settle down with. I've tried meeting guys in every way - online dating, speed dating, co-workers, friends, setups, bars, you name it. But no guy seems to want to commit to me. I'm laid back almost to a fault and I do everything I can to not come across as the clingy girl by overtexting or being demanding. I accept casual dating to start in hopes that it can become something more, and I go about staying busy and living my life when I'm not seeing the guy. I realize that I probably accept too much crap and end up with dudes who just let me do most of the work, plan the dates, who ultimately decide they're not "in the right place for a serious relationship" and leave me behind. I'm not sure what I'm doing to attract these types. As I said I've tried meeting guys in every way, I've gone into every date open-minded and have dated way outside "my type", and it's all the same story. It seems as though no man is willing to put in any effort whatsoever when it comes to me. No man wants to commit in the slightest. And I can't understand why...


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What Guys Said 1

  • dont you think its a sign that maybe you should learn to be happy on your own and learn to enjoy and love your single life, i know that your 30 years old and in that age most of the woman dont want to be single and they want to be committed to a nice and honest guy, but dont worry when the time will be right it will happen, dont lose hope. i think the crappy guys that you met is a sign that you should stay single for a while.

    • That's true... and I do live life to the fullest. I travel, constantly try new things, love my friends and family, keep busy with writing... I'm just at that point in my life that it would be nice to have someone to come home to for a change. I've never had that.

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    • Thanks! (P. S. Supernatural is the best)

    • My pleasure!
      yeah supernatural is awesome

What Girls Said 2

  • Ask someone who really knows you that gives upfront honesty what is wrong with you.

    You list all your positive qualities as if there's no fault to you. Maybe there is, and it's more off-putting than you think.

    Would you date this man?
    -hates smoking

    That's Hitler. I just described Adolf Hitler. Anyone can sound like a catch if you just focus on the positives. Have someone point out your flaws.
    Maybe by trying to not come across as clingy. You actually are. You're falling into that "desperate to settle woman in her 30s" cliche. I can feel it through what you wrote.

    • My flaw is putting up with too nuch crap. I'm a doormat sometimes and I give too many chances.

    • Has to be more than that.

    • Most of my friends are also single girls like me. And the ones who aren't always want to fix me up because they can't understand why I'm single. But they never seem to have anyone to set me up with - apparently they hold me in high regard and don't think anyone is "good enough for me" (Note I have NEVER said these words and I don't look at men as being "not good enough", I don't have a checklist I'm looking for, I just want someone who has a sense of humor and treats me right)

  • I trust you have at least talked/discussed this with your closest girlfriends.
    If so, what has been their suggestions/ideas/thoughts?

    • Most of my friends are in the exact same boat as me... single girls around 30 who end up finding all the jerks... so in that regard we at least have each other to vent to

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    • Well at the moment am at a loss, but if I think of anything which might be of some help, I'll be right back offering it to you.
      Am just so sorry that am completely stumped.

    • No worries, and thanks :) it's tough navigating the dating field out there