Why no one wants to date me?

I don't know what's wrong with me... People call me sweet and cute, I'm calm and introverted (not shy), but I absolutely do have an attitude and I have been told conversations with me are priceless. I have been told a lot of times I have feminine beauty (by friends or complete strangers), that I'm interesting, unique and nice, genuine, caring person. I take care of myself, but I don't put my looks above everything, I respect people and have plenty of interests. I'm very diplomatic, and approach people with genuine heart, but I also know where limits should be set.

I never get more than stares or direct/indirect (,, he told me to tell you'') compliments of my personality ( ''... She is very cool, she is pretty, she is amazing because she is on her own, she has amazing style...)... but no one ever really asks me out, no one even sends me a message on social media... I'm starting to feel very discouraged and hopeless...

I don't know what to do...

I do look good, I definitely use makeup in good way and definitely don't dress conservative, but also not provokative... I show enough, not too much.


Most Helpful Guy

  • "People call me sweet and cute" -- good.

    "I'm calm and introverted (not shy)" -- maybe neutral.

    "but I absolutely do have an attitude" -- could be a problem (or not).

    "told a lot of times I have feminine beauty" -- kind of an odd compliment, but good.

    "I take care of myself" -- very good

    "but I don't put my looks above everything" -- might be worth a try to do this a little bit more.

    "I respect people and have plenty of interests" -- doesn't make too much of a difference when it comes to first impressions and sexual attraction.

    " I'm very diplomatic, and approach people with genuine heart" -- same as above, doesn't make much of a difference.

    "I don't know what to do..."

    Could try turning up sex appeal, show some skin. It might attract some unwanted attention but guys are primarily drawn to a girl through sexual attraction (which may or may not include more romantic thoughts).

    Could try to learn how to kind of flirt physically and show your interest in a guy (don't have to be so subtle here).

    You could try initiating conversations with guys.

    You could try befriending more guys perhaps. With guy friends, they'll notice your more endearing qualities (diplomacy, caring qualities, etc) and that might give them a chance to become attracted to you more. These qualities don't scream on first impression, but they might subtly attract the opposite sex with lasting impressions over the course of getting to know you better.

    You might ask one of your female friends for help -- fashion advice, how to flirt, make yourself look inviting/welcoming to make attention so that guys aren't intimidated, etc.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's because you are all these things it is nearly impossible for a lot of guys to believe girls like you still exist. They believe that its the more shallow, more sexually active type women that dominates the world now today. I get the same thing you do. Many of them will not because by them knowing and sensing that you not like other women, they feel they can't compete with you as a man to a woman, and that you maybe be out of their league, or your on a whole entire different level.

    You do not need to change yourself just to get a lot of guys. Your focus is to be with one person, one person to marry and love. Not multiples for you to be broken, damaged and miserable to the point NO one, wants to be around that. Don't worry. There are times where you can approach a guy, but you have to use wisdom and know what person is right and needed in your life. Don't let this disappointment bring you down. Most of the times, those are the kinds of guys you avoid, because their not good for you to be with. If your not the type to be showing skin and have guys lust after you, which is what a lady should do, those type will try to change you to be that be. Not worth the heartache. You are worth it, and you need to keep reminding yourself that. Don't let the world lie to you and say your not.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Sends *big cyber-hug* Someone will before long. Just be ready to catch him so he doesn't slip by!

  • let me guess, you expect him to approach you? And then wonder why he doesn't?

  • I'll do it. :(

  • id really like to see what you look like, you seem great by description.

  • People might just think you're too good for them so don't bother.


What Girls Said 4

  • It could just be that you are not putting yourself out there to be approached?

    Do you go out often? Like parties, social gatherings etc where you can actually meet and talk to people?
    Because most likely it is in an environment like parties where you can talk to people comfortably and get to know each other enough for it turn into something more.

    But if you're not comfortable like that, try online dating? Like Tinder, where you can meet guys near you and go on dates etc ofc avoid the ones just looking to fuck around.

  • Stop listing all your positives. You're not a sexy sweet person 24/7. These types of questions are pointless. We need to know how terrible you can be.

    Would you date him?
    -hates smoking.
    That's Hitler. I just described Adolf Hitler. Literally anyone can sound like a catch if you only list their positives.

  • People probably do want to date you, they just don't want to be the ones to put in effort. You are an introvert, so I'm assuming you're one of those people who only speak when they're spoken to. I'm the same way. Some people find that intimidating, or assume you just don't want talk.

  • pics for real please?