What do to when your friend acquaintance asks you out but you aren't interested?

There's this guy who does the same degree as me and we have worked on projects together but we don't hang out or anything but I consider him a friend. We have had pretty deep conversations and I found out his father died. He has just asked me out by saying that he put it off because of his social anxiety. Firstly, I'm not interested in him like that but when I ask guys to hang out and they reject me I wished that they gave me a chance in just being friends. I also wasn't interested in my ex at first but I gave him a chance and I fell in love with him so... I feel like I can't justify if I reject him. Also, I'm really busy and even though I would really like to be in a relationship with the people I am interested in, I know that the chance of me liking him isn't worth my grades and concentration on more important things.
But he's pulled out this social anxiety card so I don't know if I have to reject him differently or something? How should I go about this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • How about saying like that you don't know him well enough to date, and your not really looking to date with school right now, but you wouldn't mind getting to know him better over time. You can't/won't promise you will date him in the future, but many be spending some time together will help his social anxiety too?

    That way you are being honest, letting him have realistic expectations, and the two of you can see if there really is any potential there or not.


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  • If you want to keep his friendship, suggest that you go together to some activity that you enjoy and he's never heard of. Besides, what's wrong with letting him be one of your FWBs/FBs without emotional involvement?

    • The thing is that I'm not sexually or physically attracted to him as terrible as it sounds. It was the same with my ex and I think that I definitely find mental attraction something more important when it comes to the long term relationship but I just don't want to be emotionally involved because I know it will take up my time and concentration from my studies. So, I'm not interested in friends with benefits with him as I'm not attracted to him like that.