What would be your reasons for not replying to me (or blocking me)?

I've used just about every popular dating site out there from OKcupid, to Plenty of Fish, as well as more casual sites like Tinder and Badoo. Over the years I pretty much gave up on them because I simply don't receive ANY new messages and rarely receive replies to ones that I send out. And by rare I mean like... 1/80 will get me a reply? And chances are she'll be very dull and boring and not contribute to the conversation at all. In some cases I'm even blocked, straight away. I recently got out of a relationship so I decided to just start exploring my options and decided to give dating sites another go. Needless to say, nothing has really changed. Just to put it into perspective, I can swipe right on Tinder (You do it if you like the person) on literally ALL 50 of my daily limit regardless if I actually like them or not and get maybe 1-3 matches if I'm lucky (the next day). Needless to say the 1-3 that I MIGHT get are all usually obese and/or trashy, undesirable girls. The rare matches that are actually attractive often just ignore me.

On more serious dating sites like OKCupid, I can match up with a girl with over 90% compatibility but still get ignored. I've tried many pictures, smiling, normal face, silly faces, pictures in military uniform, casual clothes, facial hair, clean shaven, etc. I've also tried many different introductions including casual "Hello how are you" to full blown polite, and creative introductions as well as messages that clearly indicate that I read their profile and things that I found attractive about them based on what I read from their profile. I'm never rude, provocative, impatient or perverted.

Doesn't matter if the girl's profile indicates she's the friendliest person ever:

"Message me guys! I promise I always reply and I'm very friendly! :3"

I still get ignored. Nobody has ever told me I was ugly, girls almost always tell me how incredibly handsome I am so it's very confusing. Is it because of my race? Am I missing something?

I won't even pretend to think that looks don't matter. Most girls I've met told me I'm very handsome so that adds to the confusion. Here is my Tinder if you want to see how I look:

tinder. com/@jabari25

I just feel I'm never really given a chance and I don't know why. Thoughts? Blunt honesty.
No girls?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Not going to look at your Tinder profile.

    Here are reasons I might block a guy:

    Being too negative. Sounding like an asshat. Sounding like he feels entitled. Appearing arrogant. Complaining about the people on the site. Sounding racist or prejudice toward any one group (idagf what your preference is). Posting insults toward women of any kind.

    My inbox is probably full of guys like you. You sent me a one worded message. Your bio didn't have enough information in it. You're either a smoker or do recreational drugs.

    • None of those things apply to me at all, that's what confuses me.

    • Show All
    • Tinder is a terrible app to find anything "serious." It's too casual and too easy for people to swipe right on everyone and let the other person do the hard work of actually choosing based on looks or reading the profile. I ran across two or three decent guys but the rest of them were just pervs and I ended up deleting my profile. Not my cup of tea.

      There are several different apps springing up out there that you can try. Some are designed to prevent that spam swiping thing from happening so you can make a real connection with someone actually interested in you. Don't lose hope just because Tinder isn't working for you. It's not the holy grail of dating apps, just one of the more popular ones. Do some research and expand your options!

    • Tinder isn't the only dating site I've used. I've tried okcupid, pof, badoo, Tinder, and tons of random third party ones. The trend continues. I send out 30 messages, wake up the next morning with 0 new messages. If I do get any (1 or 2) they are either spam, or random absolutely hideous girls who obviously aren't getting any attention from anyone else. And I guess I fall into that same "hideous" category if those are the only ones who are interested. Also my problem isn't "finding nothing but pervs." My problem is finding ANYONE. Like.. I can spam swipe right on Tinder and get 0 matches. I've done that for like a week straight (Every 12 hours) and only gotten about 10 matches. 3 were spam and 5 were all like 300 lb cows and the other 2 were decent like... 5/10 but they ignored me when I messaged them.

Most Helpful Guy

  • A lot of guys don't get replies, and when a girl is being bombarded by messages from loads of other guys unless you're something special you get drowned out and forgotten about, she starts to think she's a lot more attractive than she is.

    There's a lot more to attracting someone than your words, something like 93% of communication is body language for example (and that's very important in real life, I'd argue more important than what you say).

    You can be an awesome guy in real life but that can be lost on the internet where all she sees is what you've typed and your pictures. Most often people tend to build up an image of someone they meet online that is completely different to the way they are in real life.

    I think it's easier to get girls in real life. If you work on that rather than internet dating I think you'll get better results, plus it's more exciting. Sitting at a screen begging for attention from tinder sluts will kill your testosterone levels - flirting with girls in real life is proven to raise them.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • You look attractive, I don't know why you wouldn't get replies.

    Maybe it's something you have put in your profile (on OK Cupid etc.) that's putting them off? I often read the profile if someone sends me a message. I'd ignore you if your profile had any of the following in it:
    1. Anything negative (eg. complaining about the website)
    2. Any mention of looking for 'fun' (it sounds like you mean NSA sex)
    3. Under what you are looking for, if you have put casual sex, or friends. Basically anything other than relationship.
    4. If you sound picky, eg. 'I want a blonde, gorgeous size 8 girl, no older than 22, with massive breasts, who loves rock climbing, extreme sports and reading the exact same books as me, who can cook and has 3 dogs'.


What Guys Said 2

  • I think you are probably looking the wrong places for what you are seeking

    • That doesn't answer my question. Other guys get replies, I don't. I'm asking why?

    • Show All
    • I am done with this conversation.

    • Alrighty.

  • Money maybe, who knows, they are very picky on there since they resorted to meeting on there to begin with. If you are handsome then it's even more confusing so maybe your race is not desirable , hard to tell

    • Yea it confuses me. Like even if it was money-related, how would they know what my income is like? That's why I suspect maybe it's my race, which if that's the case that is extremely unfortunate. I don't like to be categorized with the typical thuggish, dull, black man.

    • Yeah I guess they wouldn't know you have money yet unless you are posing in front of your Lamborghini , lol but being black shouldn't matter but there are a lot of fake profiles on there and maybe only the few real attractive ones are overloaded with response since most sites are overloaded with guys

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