Whose grad to go to?

Ok so my fiance and i are both 24 years old and his 22 year old sister and I both graduate from college in August on the same exact day crazy right? Well naturally it was a very tough decision for my fiance to choose whose to go to (with travel it is impossible to go to both) he chose mine because me being the women he is going to marry and all. His mom is really upset that he is going to my college graduation over his own sisters as she puts it. I'm very confused why she is so bothered i think naturally it makes the most sense to go to the persons grad whose ring you are wearing and who you are going to settle down with we have been together 2 years his sis is 22 and we live close to his mom. His sister completely understands and we told her we will definitely make it up to her by taking her out to a really nice restaurant just the 3 of us but nooo that isn't good enough for his mom. I could understand his mom's POV if this was a new relationship or something but in my opinion of you been with your SO a long time and you know you wanna be with them the rest of your life you choose them for stuff like this. I feel like his mom is being completely unreasonable especially considering his sister is completely ok with it. Also i think what is bothering me is that his mom seems to not give any shits if he misses my graduation and how his own fiance would feel if her own fiance isn't there but i guess to his mom my feelings dont matter. Thoughts? Are we wrong here?


Most Helpful Guy

  • i'm siding with mother knows best. he can make it up to you by nailing you.

    • Umm how do you figure? I could see it if i was a new girlfriend or wasn't his fiance or something but how do you think it looks for the man im about to marry in 6 months not to be there on such a big day in my life? Besides his sister is totally understanding. Like i said does his mom not care how i would feel and about my feelings if he wasn't there to support me i guess screw my feelings right?

    • Show All
    • Well it seems like you're implying our marriage won't work out or something. You sre assuming his sisters grad is more important to go to than mine assuming you know their relationship. I'm more upset that his mom is sticking her nose in it when we are making it up to his sister and he is a grown adult who can make his own decisions without mommy getting involved. I already mentioned i got her a really nice jewelry box and me and my fiance are taking her out to dinner to make up for it at a realllly nice restaurant. Maybe peoples marriages don't last because they put their siblings and parents first before their fiance and husband or wife. Trust me that's what led to my parents divorce my dad didn't know what it meant to put my mom first and she got sick of it im not just another vagina friends with benefits despite what you guys are implying.

    • Actually his mom is the one throwing the fit by not getting her way by demanding he go to his sisters and diss his fiance doesn't sound like his mom gives two shits about kt feelings

Most Helpful Girl

  • I personally would go to my siblings but that's just me. And tho I would be a little sad that he couldn't come to mine, I'd understand if he went to his sibling's graduation. It's just a tricky situation because either way, someone is left out.

    • Why though we are about to get married with a wedding date? To me it is absolutely nuts to miss the grad of your own fiance when you committed to spending the rest of your life with them? That would kill me inside because to me thats like him saying his sister is more important to him than his own fiance. If we were just dating i would totally get it but we live together wake up every morning together and we are starting our lives together if i can't depend on my own fiance to be there who is more important than anyone who can i depend on? I would honestly re think if this man is serious about marrying me

    • Show All
    • At this point you're just bitching for nothing. This whole question is irrelevant. He already said he was going to yours graduation. Stop thinking that you can dictate how someone else feels. You can't. I'm done with this.

    • I said his mom can feel however she wants.. What if he wasn't going to mine

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • That's his sister. Blood. Family. Someone that will be there regardless and won't ask for a divorce the moment she no longer wants to deal with you.

    You... You're just another female.

    • My thought exactly.

    • Show All
    • His sister was there before you and will be there after you're gone too. Stop trying to take a place that will never belong to you. Either you join the family, or don't even bother getting with him.

    • That is assuming he will divorce me trust me we aren't getting divorced i have more faith in my relationship than that

What Girls Said 2

  • I don't know. I understand the Mom's view. If he had posted on this site asking if he should go to his fiance's or sister graduation I would have told him to go to his sisters. Family first. Although you are his fiance you are still on steps to being actual family. Plus I'm sure the sister would want her entire family there as would you.

    • If the man who is about to marry me doesn't consider me family or as important as family then i dont think im marrying the right guy thats pretty sad. Tons of people consider their closest friends family surely you would consider the person you are about to marry family. Also it seems lime his mom doesn't care if he misses mine forget my feelings right his sisters matter more according to his mom. Besides he is a grown man living on his own. We live together surely that makes us a family

    • Show All
    • Why would you think its more important for your parents and siblings to be than your own fiance? I would be really hurt if my fiance would want his parents and siblings there before me. Also let me ask this what about people who don't ever plan on getting married are they always less of a priority than parents and siblings

    • Also if wearing someones ring doesn't nake me as important as immediate family then i would say im about to marry the wrong person. I think i should be as important as family. Its not like this is a new relationship or something

  • His mum is being unreasonable

    • Yeah i would be a little more inclined to agree with his mom if we were just a new boyfriend girlfriend not engaged to be married. Besides he is an adult his mom shouldn't be dictating his decisions

    • Show All
    • But his mom shouldn't tell him what to do and how to run his life he is a full grown man completely independent of his parents financially. His mom has no say in what he does. Im also really hurt because his mom doesn't seem to care about my feelings in all of this if my own fiance misses it. Can you explain again his mom pov in all of this?

    • I really give up. I've tried to help and I'm sorry I don't need to be lectured on top of my own shit sorry

Loading... ;