Guys, do you have any advice on how I can stop attracting needy men?

Hello. I don't understand why this is, but for some reason, I'll meet these guys and they'll seem okay at first, but then out of nowhere they start acting needy. I kid you not. One told me that he thought that I was an excellent match for him because the fact that I served showed that I can take care of myself and so can take care of him in the ways that he needed to be taken care of (he didn't not tell me what any of these "ways" were). Another one sent me at least four or five text messages a day trying to push romance on me and then demanding to know why I wasn't responding (he did this until I told him to stop), and the most recent one I had only been talking to for two days and he already asked me if he has everything I look for in a man.

Thing about me is that right now, I go to school and work part time. I'm not looking for any man to take care of me, but I want the kind of relationship that involves both of us taking care of each other. However, the men that I am interested in seem to gravitate towards the whiney little princesses for some reason and I always seem to attract the men who only want me to take care of them.

Regardless of my picture, I try to act like a feminine woman. I put on make up, perfume and high heels and I love to shop (even though I don't make a lot of money), I cook, clean and love to do crafting (jewelry making is one of my favorite hobbies). I have my own life and I have girlfriends, but these men seem to want my attention constantly and heaven forbid I don't give it to them or I choose my girlfriends over them and I'm cussed out and accused of not making time for them. Is there anything that I need to do in order to not attract these men?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's bad luck. Just gotta avoid those guys


Most Helpful Girl

  • They are just attracted to your very independent and dominating personality, just ignore or block if they start to sound weird or forceful.

    • This makes sense. Funny thing is that I'm really not that independent or dominating. I guess that might be how I come across lol

    • They have stupid sexual ideas

    • You shouldn't overread it. If you make a big deal , always asking the wrong questions, you will just pull in more of those weirdos in your surroundings.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • They will come regardless of what you do. Unfortunately.

    Keep being you, keep trying to find someone who fits your needs. There is not too much else to that.

  • Maybe you've just been very unlucky. The only way to minimize the damages of dealing with the type of person you disapprove of is to be upfront about what you're looking for.

  • What I don't understand is why would you want to serve? Especially at such a young age. Do you want to die so badly? I just don't understand why people want to fight in wars so badly. I'd never do it.

    And you can't stop those men from being attracted to you. Just hope one day you'll attract someone who isn't needy.

  • women logic.

    "i want him to take care of me"
    i need to avoid needy men

    so what you're saying is, you want from him what you dont wanna give.

    you did say both of us taking care of each other but i dont see you having anyting to offer this dude.

    • You're right. I don't and it's because we'll just start getting to know each other (not even one date) and he'll start asking me "am I going to be your boyfriend" or "how many kids are we going to have" or if I don't return a text in five minutes because I'm at work it's "are you talking to other guys". That sort of thing (sorry I should have been more clear)

    • i m doing alright for myself. all these girls wanna use me while not having anything interesting to offer me. they think fit bodies and big tits is enough lmfao

      do you know how much pussy is worth? about 60 bucks.

      i dont even look at these low lives because every man is a womans decision away from losing half of his shit.

      i avoid most women in general and i m not a typical gager who can't get girls

    • ok i just read your response.

      yah he is actin like a little validation seeking female. i get it

  • Well first I would lay down the law no cussing at me. Then lay the ground rules even on the first date.
    I see your in the Navy, are these guys in the Navy too?
    By the way thank you for your service to this great country!

    • Lol no cussing necessary. A lot times though they get needy even before the first date happens. Luckily I find out before it's too soon, but I should probably lay it down as soon as we start talking lol. No, these are not military guys lol.

    • Show All
    • Wow really they bring up the titles boyfriend and girlfriend that soon. Are you sure these guys aren't younger than you?

    • The last one said he was 34 (two years older), but I wonder...

  • you either have been unlucky or/and you may have some stuff that makes them go crazy. see over flirty behaviour

    good luck to you!


What Girls Said 2

  • Especially as a young woman, you will attract all different kinds of men. Unfortunately, the most persistent ones are usually the needy ones. I had two in one year come at me nonstop and eventually I had to just be a complete bitch to him to get him to stay away from me. It might also be because most other women don't even talk to them and when you do it encourages them to think that you are a good pursuit, simple because you looked in their direction. Its a harsh reality but its truth.

  • stop being needy yourself.