Pros/cons looking for a self-similar partner?

Basically I would like to date a girl who shares the same interests, qualities attitudes as myself - a female version of me. Is this strange/ healthy?


Most Helpful Girl

  • He needs to possess the same values and morals as me and similar qualities , but not necessarily the same interests.

    The problem is with looking for a female version of "you" is that you'll expect too much of her. That's not healthy to do


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, there can be many advantages ( Pro's) of looking for a self- similar partner and that's a very good thinking I would say. Even I believe logically that if there are more likes, more similarities or if the person is the opposite gender version of you, that can actually work wonders. Hence yes it's healthy and it's not strange at all.

    The advantages/pros are many, some of them are:

    1. Since there are more likes and similar interests, so your thought process will also be same, hence you will always have a common ground, there will be very little or no arguments, no fights and so there will be a calm environment always. Hence there will be peace and love in the relationship.

    2. There will be greater comfort level, understanding between the two.

    3. Another advantage is that neither of the partner would have to change or compromise in order to make the other person happy or for the relationship or to put it precisely even if some compromise has to be made, it would be very little and something that may not be even noticeable because of greater level of compatibility that would already exist.

    Some of the disadvantages can be:

    1. If you are going for a person who is a opposite gender version of you, then you must make sure that there are at least some differences, say 5% at least, that will be just enough to keep things interesting, if you go for a person 100% similar to you, it might be interesting at first, but then there is every chance that you might get bored later on, so keep the percentage of similarities high, very high but not 100%.

    2. Everything will be like near perfect, and so again it can lead to you getting bored over time.

    From the above points, it's important that you keep some differences, some room for error, keep it very less, say only 5% or max 10% but it should be there, that will keep you motivated and things interesting. However your thinking is not wrong, it's a healthy thinking to go for a female version of you.

    • I was in a relationship like this, and it was great. She broke up because her parents wouldn't let her be with a non-indian.
      Now I am depressed because I see only very few "female versions of me", so I do not think to meet again someone like her.
      So I am not sure wether it's all that healthy... On the other hand other types of girls often just feel annoying/stupid and I couldn't imagine a common future.

    • That's really sad. Bad luck I would say. I can understand why you don't think of meeting someone like her again.

      However as I said before your thinking is healthy, there is nothing wrong with it.

    • Thanks for the MHO

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • lol, my boyfriend is practically a male version of me. :P

    we have a ton in common, which is awesome, with just enough differences that it keeps things interesting. if all of our interests were the exact same, we'd have nothing to offer each other.

  • its interesting but it would be like you're dating yourself lol.. so nope

  • Yes, this is normal and makes sense from a psychological standpoint. We are truly more attracted to people similar to us.

    This reminds me of a video on youtube /watch? v=Zdw4ozDD2XU

    • Yes for friends - but in a relationship this means I would like to have a girl with a lot of mascuin traits - Actually I am not at all attracted to feminine girls (maybe for sex, but not for a relationship). i am more into tech girls..

What Guys Said 1

  • umm its not something id EVER consider.. she would have to be a gold digging whore and thats a no go!

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