Lol. Give me a game plan?

I've known a woman/friend for close to 3 years and always thought i was in the friend zone. One day this year, she agreed to actually go on a date with me, then tells me I was never "friendzoned" so we agreed to take things slow (neither of us have been in relationships in 5yrs) and get to know each other a little more (instead of just meeting up, drinking, hanging with friends etc). Things were going well for 2 months in getting to know each other past just friends. No sex but groping, kissing/making out, hand holding, arms around each other, kissing each other in public, spending the night with more making out. She seems to be scared of commitment (as I'm a little afraid of it too but i'd try it out with her) right now but has said she likes me, is attracted to me, blah blah... But recently, she's backed away where I didn't see her for maybe 3 wks and she was acting very busy. She just claimed that she felt like i was pressuring her and was just busy while apologizing (new things in her life: puppy, new house, working, family stuff) and I was overthinking things. We recently metup. That's when she said she doesn't want a relationship with anyone right now. She said she doesn't know what's wrong with her but she doesn't. She claims that she does that: get to know someone for a little while, then just stop it or shut it down. I could understand to a point being that I've been single for 5yrs like her. But i know from experience that women could say they don't want a relationship with anyone right now and within 3 wks time, they're all of a sudden in a relationship. Also, when we talk about her past with relationships/ex's, she's very closed off. I've told her we need to work on opening up more. But she still seems to be closed off from this and other topics in her past right now. Should i back off a little? Also, did i drop the ball or miss the let's have sex sign (is it still there?)? Could she be some easy girl/hoe and I missed that sign also? lol. Help! lol

By the way, she is a friend first and I'm not waiting around for her but... i am curious of her actions, what i can do, if anything. And did i miss my sign for sex with her lol.


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What Girls Said 1

  • She doesn't want to be with you anymore.


What Guys Said 1

  • If she's losing interest the only thing you can do is back off. Some guys think if she starts losing interest that means they have to try and chase after her even more in an attempt to change her mind and very rarely does that work, most often it pushes her further away. Don't initiate any contact with her, she'll probably eventually miss you and come back to you, but make her do all the work. Pretty much if you've been trying to make it work and she's still lost interest, then you've got be like.. Stuff it ok, if you still want this then you're doing the work now.

    As far as missing opportunities it's hard to say without knowing the situation. But missing 'windows of opportunity' can definitely be one of the factors in causing a girl to lose interest. If she's hoping for a guy to really make a move and he doesn't do it, it can be a turn off because if he does like her, it shows that he's not assertive/confident enough or has no desire to take things to the next level.

    • Thanks! It's funny. I think deep down most of our instincts are right (Your don't initiate contact with her comment) but I guess we try to see things differently or think from their side and be optimistic and keep trying, thinking this time things will turn. And as far as opportunities, I think i did miss a few chances to be more assertive to take it to that next level but... sigh, I didn't and had no reason not to. Just that i didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable and mess things up.