Why won't guys date me?

I've never had a boyfriend and I really want to start dating, I feel sad seeing all these happy couples everywhere while I'm alone. I don't mind being alone since I love myself but I want to share my love with others and it seems like people won't accept it. I got asked out a few times in high school but I wasn't ready to date so I turned them down. Guys never approach me, they just stare a lot and this kind of bothers me because its intimidating to approach someone who's just full on staring you down. Otherwise, I feel like I could approach guys and talk to them, but I wish they would just approach me instead of stare at me and make me uncomfortable. All the guy friends I've had always end up wanting to have sex with me, but why not date me? Is there something wrong with my personality? I am a bit introverted but I am always respectful and friendly towards people. I smile, I let them speak and I ask questions instead of making it all about me. Sometimes I may start to ramble, but I try my best. If it gets to something I have a passion for or strong opinion towards it can get a little intense. I am always honest and true to myself. I will never talk behind someone's back and will never spill secrets. One thing that isn't too great about me is my sense of humor. Some people say I'm funny but it's more like weird or geeky humor. I've learned to be able to laugh at myself and not be as sensitive about things. Why do I feel like men treat me as just a sexual object? I feel like they just like me for my looks but pay no mind to my personality. I know my style limits my choices (alternative) since a lot of men don't like it, but I know plenty of people that do like it. I am just looking for someone to share my love with.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I am somewhat in the same exact situation that you're describing. The truth of the matter is I don't know why we view ourselves as undateable. It could be because of various reasons.

    We may appear bland, we may appear menacing, we may appear uninterested, we may appear uninteresting. It's hard to tell.

    What I will say is, it is not okay to be viewed as a sex object and I would suggest not giving into it either, as you're just setting yourself up for a lot of hurt. I know this first hand. Just don't give into it.

    It's not easy to approach anyone anymore, in my opinion. Being introverted doesn't help either. The best you can do is try, which is way way easier said than done.


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What Guys Said 1

  • That is a big problem with our dating society these days. You have to actively search and sort through all of the poeple. Guys these days won't aproach a women randomly because we have been made fun of for doing so several times. Women just don't want to be approached anymore and enjoy making fun a guy they don't perticually like instead of just saying they are not interested. There is nothing wrong with a women aproaching a guy go over and make conversation with someone and see where it goes. Sadly guys just can't do that anymore. Those guys that only want sex dump them and look for a guy that wants to date you without sex till your married. Don't even leave that option open or more guys will push you for it. Go for the ones that want a relationship and are looking to be married.

    With all of this constant looking an easier way is to join a fairly small social group like a church young adult group and get to know everyone there and see if there is anyone that you would like to date there. Some of them might even help you get a date with him. Or try hobby groups college clubs...

    • Some of what you said was helpful but I don't plan on getting married and I'm not even a virgin haha, I don't have a problem with having sex in a relationship. I have to get to know the person and have feelings for them. I don't sleep around or anything but I don't believe in marriage and am not religious in the slightest. If I am in a relationship (when I say I've never had a boyfriend doesn't mean I've never been in a relationship, I dated a girl once) I am very loyal and loving and will act like a "wife" but won't actually go so far as to marry.

    • Ok I'm glad that I was helpful good luck dating

What Girls Said 2

  • you seem like a great person. no one is perfect and you dont have to be perfect to find love. it just hasn't been your time yet. its 2016 there are so many fuckboys out here who just want to use and play women so consider your singleness a good thing. consider it a form of protection. so when you do finally meet a good man you won't be bitter and damaged and can love him with a pure heart. for now, just do you and focus on living your life (school, career, friends, pet, hobbies) and your king will come and when he does he will be everything u ever dreamed of

  • Better pray the creepy virgin hunting freak on here doesn't see this question.

    • hahahaha oh my god I'm laughing so hard.
      Think he already has.

    • Show All
    • and I have been stalked by the mother fucker for at least 2 years straight, I'd know who he is... Definitely not talking about you. How amusing though.

    • @Jen0vaCore you know what... second thought... maybe you've surprised me.