Why do guys "disappear"?


Jane and John recently met and started dating. They became intimate after a couple of encounters and the sex was amazing. John became very affectionate with Jane and quickly turned into mush around her. John explained to Jane that he was "so into her" and asked if he could spend more time with her in the coming days. She agreed to spend the following weekend with him. A couple days passed after that and Jane heard nothing from John. She didn't want to seem clingy so she resisted the urge to contact him. The weekend came. Nothing from John. She was disappointed, angry, and hurt. This has happened to Jane before but she truly felt a connection with John and didn't see this one coming.

What could have been the reasons for John's about-face?

  • John just wanted sex
  • John realized Jane wasn't right for him during their days apart
  • Something happened to John (an accident or otherwise)
  • John got spooked when he realized his strong feelings for Jane and bailed
  • None of the above
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dunno, let me check my crystal ball


    • point taken ;)

    • Show All
    • I don't know, it still sounds fishy to me because nowadays people are glued to their phones. Even if he's the busiest guy in the world he would at least browse his phone before bed, and a text takes just seconds. Just keep your shields up and good luck :D um I mean, good luck to Jane!

    • Good point! You're absolutely right. He was out of town for work and was apparently super busy but you're absolutely right - the busiest guy in the world has a couple of seconds before bed. I am going to take your advice. Thank you so much!!!

What Guys Said 2

  • So many reasons. It could be one or more of several. Who knows? Would be nice to be told though! Shame on John for not explaining!

    • Jane appreciates the empathy :)

  • I think he got spooked or died in an accident

    • Let's hope it was the latter...

    • Yeah, lol

What Girls Said 1

  • I don't know... Something similar happened to me. Except, I didn't sleep with him, but he spent the night, and we fooled around.

    • Maybe it was the fact that you wouldn't go all the way with him? It's so funny that men do this. Women aren't known to do things like this, right? I mean, I've never told a guy how much I liked them and then never called them again. Especially if the two have spent a good little chunk of time together.

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