How can you tell if someone isn't over their ex and or still talking to them and hanging out with them? Should I ask them?

For the past 6 months I've been talking to a old classmate from high school getting to know him and everything. When we first started talking he told me he was single. He said he dated a female for a long time and it didn't end too badly but it wasn't fun when they broke up. He also said that he wasn't in a rush to enter a relationship again right now, his relationships just never worked out and all. So we have just been friends. We have been intimate though, cuddling, holding hands and kissing you know things like that. But I do like him. He told me that he likes me too but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high. Recently I noticed something that keeps occurring. About every other month he tells me that a friend is coming over to visit him. At first I though nothing of it and thought that he just has guy friends that he's close to. But this most recent time I've been having a anxious feeling like he wasn't telling me everything. I remember a few weeks ago at the end of July I couldn't get a hold of him for about 3 days. But on July 22nd he responded saying that he had been really busy. Today I saw a picture online of his ex and her birthday was either on July 20th or July 21st. I started thinking that maybe at that time he was with her. She lives in the same area as him. I also notice that sometimes he babysits a dog and the dog looks similar to the dog that his ex has. But she has a male dog and he told me that the dog he babysits is a female. He just told me it was a friend's dog. And now thinking about when he told me another friend is going to be coming to visit and they might stay at his house I started wondering who this friend was. I'm not sure if I'm just being paranoid or if I should be concerned. Today I started having thoughts wondering if he's still talking to his ex and hanging out with her. I want to know if he is but I don't know if it's my place to ask or how to bring it up. Are there signs that tell you if someone is still talking to their ex?


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  • It's naive to ignore your gut it , but also important not to make accusations based on assumptions until you know for sure.

    Maybe you could question him more about his friend who is visiting. If I'm in doubt I always trust my gut. I'd trust my intuition over anyone's word. If things don't add up and don't seem right, it's because there's an underlying issue. You gut feels what your eyes can't see. So I'd need to question him in a none intrusive way to know for sure if he is in contact with his ex. I can't let go of my gut feeling.

    If you have questions then it's important to ask. Or they'll fester and make you paranoid and uneasy around him

    • That's very true. There's questions I want to ask. But I'm not sure how I should ask without being intrusive?

  • the disappearing act is suspious to me.
    also go with your intuition.
    if i were you, i would not continue. it seems like he is still hanging out with someone.
    why can you meet his "friend"

    • Yea it's suspicious to me too a bit. When he disappears for a couple days or doesn't reply for a few days then comes back and says he's been busy. And I don't mind meeting his friend. I just didn't know if it's the right time yet to ask to meet his friends since we aren't officially together yet. But you think he's still hanging out with his ex?

    • you guys kissed. he is not giving you a title because he is playing around. you are an option.
      you can always jokingly said awwww who is visitng? i would love to meet him... then see how he reacts.
      always be playful and fun..
      but in this case, i would steer clear of him if you want more so you don't get hurt. by you asking here, seems like you are starting to get attached...
      if you are not looking for anything serious then have fun going out.