Why can't I get a Girlfriend?/ Am I attractive?

Before I start I'd like to inform you that I am a senior in high school (Starting this month). I've only had one girlfriend so far and about three known crushes. If I had to rate how I looked I'd say about a 6 or so. I make it a goal to workout everyday to try and lose some weight (I'm not overweight but would like to lose a few pounds). Normally I wear freshly pressed patterned casual dress shirts or polos and dark wash fitted (Not skinny) jeans and the occasional colored pair of chinos. As for shoes I usually sport the occasional chukka or regular boots along with some casual dress shoes or canvas sneakers. For accessories I wear different minimalistic watches depending on how they match and rarely a leather anchor bracelet. I aspire to be as much of a gentleman as possible and only stray from the line when I am with close friends. I believe in "Manners Maketh Man" and I try and live by this everyday. I have a few hobbies including Art and Programming. I am shy when I talk to women even when I don't have a crush on them which is a little annoying. If I had to describe how I would treat a girlfriend I would closely relate myself to Ted from How I Met Your Mother (I highly recommend this show). I am NOT interested in sex unlike most of my peers and my personal policy is "At least till after college". My questions are: do women find me attractive? Is there something I should try and improve? Am I expecting too much? Thank you in advance.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, you sound like the ideal guy, not one to pressure or manipulate, and you take care of yourself. It's understandable to be a little nervous with the opposite gender. However, if you're shy and it shows through how you socialize with girls, they might pick up that vibe that you might not be one to put forth enough effort, that you'll just be a silent type. I'm not saying being shy is a bad thing or that they should judge you on it. But understand that they are not gods. So, don't be shy around girls who are just as much as human and imperfect as you are. They're probably nervous too when you tall to them or are around them.

    Also, you're still very young. High school is not the only place to meet girls. You have your whole life and the entire world to meet all kinds of people. So, just keep going what you're doing.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Agh, we are the last of the breed.

    First of all, you will be attractive to women that you will want to be attractive too.
    Meaning, those people who will be attracted to you are people who are similar to you. Does it really matter if someone who you would never date finds you attractive? These people may seem to be few and far between, and sometimes they truly are (however, I think society is getting better).

    Secondly, you have a persona down pat; and it is a good one (in my mind. Well, except the programming, I don't really care much for computers and what-not). With that being said, you should now focus on being more sociable. A man's actions don't necessarily make him the "most interesting man in the world", it is how he communicates with others. Take a look at Jimmy Buffet. The guy has a terrible voice, yet he still manages to be a very popular singer (well, more so with the older generations). It is his ability to tell a story through his songs, and just in general, that make him so great.
    When I was fourteen years of age I came down into the lobby of a Hotel down in New Orleans. I sat down in a chair that was situated so that the corner of its arm touched the corner of the arm of a couch on which sat an old lady of maybe seventy-five. Instead of doing what society told me to do, I talked with her. That was my formative moment and henceforth I have been a more social person and, frankly, have enjoyed almost all aspects of my life to a greater extent (this, of course, includes that aspect so important: the romantic). When I walked away from that conversation I felt as if I had, for the first time, lived up to the ideals of society that I set before myself.
    Maybe you have had a like instance; maybe you have not. All I can tell you is that the ability to command a room full of people has made more millionaires and more, in general, successful people than anything else. I trust you understand the point by now.

    To expect that every girl finds you attractive is, as you probably know, egregious. I would say the same goes for every click on the meter until the low tens or even single digits.
    This sounds like a terrible curse, but in a city with 8.4 million (NY) it is somewhat accurate.

    Good luck, and remember that if all else fails there will always be a number of college campuses filled with intelligent, strong, and social women: just look at the top 15 colleges in the country.

    • I appreciate your opinion. I am now opening my eyes to see that I don't necessarily have to attract everyone. I will start building up my confidence an social skills for the future. Thanks again.

    • No problem.
      You should never worry about finding a companion. You, and I, and the rest of our community, are different from the rest; we have our counter-parts.
      It may be a bit of a hassle sometimes. But what is life without struggle? More importantly, it is the price we pay (and gladly pay) for finding our appropriate matches.

      Plus, it makes for a good story.

      I was once told that the man who dies with the most toys wins; that is a fallacy.
      The man who has experienced the most: pain, joy, sadness, love, depression, romance - every conceivable feeling that any human has ever felt or ever will feel - and has lived to tell the tale to a group of intrigued youths in his walnut paneled study is the man who wins.

      I am always here (well, thats a bit of a lie. I'm just trying to get enough xp so I can get an Amazon gift card, get my book, and finally exit this place. If has changed from my liking. So I may not actually be here much.)

What Girls Said 2

  • You still have a lifetime to find someone honey. Chillax, you don't need to find someone right now, focus on your grades and laying that foundation for your future. Romance comes second. If you happen to find someone, awesome, if not, awesome.

  • You seem sweet but I can't honestly answer this question because I don't actually know what you look like.

    But just be confident with who you are, and you'll find the right girl for you one day 😊


What Guys Said 3

  • I'd say no just cuz u type too much

  • You sound desperate

  • You have plenty of time first of all a lot of people didn't date at all in highschool.

    Since you are in highschool still it also crosses my mind that maybe you are dressing too professionally? Try getting some jordans, and some hip hop style jeans/shirt and maybe a fitted cap.

    What are the other popular guys your age wearing or the ones doing well with girls? Also dont be too nice, girls dont want that especially younger ones.

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