I don't think dating is possible for me... what's wrong?

Listen, I'm a shy girl but once I actually get to talk to you I'm a fun person! I know for a fact I'm not pretty. Anyways, I'm 23 and I've never had a boyfriend. I know it's sad, but I just don't understand. I mean, I have some guys go out of their ways to talk to me and they flirt sometimes, but that's it. When I look for guys their not around. Yet when I least expect it they come around. Yes, it's nice but once I develop a crush... usually nothing comes from it. Then after guys that 'seem' to take interest in me, I slightly hold back because I'm sure nothing will come from it 'cause that's always what it's been like for me. So why bother getting my hopes high when I know I'll just get hurt or just a girl they talk to. I guess it's fun to flirt when their bored. I don't know anymore. Lately, I've given up on the whole boyfriend thing cuz I just don't think it'll happen. There's this one boy in particular that I want to like, but I'm sure he's not even flirting with me because he's way out of my league. I just hate the feeling of getting my hope up just to have it taken away from me, y'know. What do I do? And what's wrong with me?

Updates:
@all- Wow guys, thanks so much. You are all the sweetest people ever. The advice you given me is greatly appreciated, thanks! 😊

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Have a little (actually far, far) more faith in you and get the job done once you start it. Don't dump someone because you lose hope. Have a good attitude and it shall be only a matter of time before you get ur boyfriend. The only thing wrong with you is your fear of failure. But it's not a life test, just fun flirting so take it easy, relax. Experiment. If someone treats you bad or pushes you away it's a jerk. "It" will happen unless you give up. "he's way out of my league" Oh really? Do you mind proving yourself wrong? Cmon be a daring girl, guys like it, as far as you're not becoming a rushing bulldozer of course. Go ahead. Your sweet shy personality is something many people, men too, tend to like (I like that). It's not just about good looks and fancy cars, you know? Plus you can always work on your looks, work out, have a healthy lifestyle, light make up if u need it and so and so on. Give yourself the right to try. Don't hope, just try, try, try, experiment, have fun, and put aside your stress. Be free ;)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think there's anything wrong with you. You just seem very shy. Shy to the point where your shyness is holding you back and having a major negative impact on your relations with other people You also sound like you overanalyze.

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    • You have no idea how much I over analyze everything... it's kinda sad now that you mention it. No matter how much I try not to be shy, it becomes harder. I question everything and in return just makes me look like I don't care about the person, which is not the case at all. I just want to be liked, haha! Thanks for the help! It's much appreciated.

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    • Or set it up to where you pull the info out of him by asking him what he's doing that weekend lol

    • Yeah omg I'm glad I asked haha. Probably bringing my friends is a good idea. Thanks for the help! :)

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What Guys Said 18

  • First of all dont think that every guy will be the same. If you are a fun person as you said try to use this advantage, quality guys usually fall in love not because of a girls beauty they fall in love because of a girls behaves and SINCERTY. If you are a girl who can write like this beautiful text as i wrote your job is not very hard. Good luck :)

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  • Just give up traditiona dating, I did at age 17 and never regretted it. Meet guys in volunteer projects or classes, someplace where you can get to know them without any pressure to get into a relationship, and you can watch how they relate to other people--whether they are reliable and truthful and discipline, or lacking in any of those qualities.

    MANY people now, more than when I was 17, have reached the conclusion that English aristocrat-formed rules don't apply to modern people.

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  • What do you think about yourself, as a woman, wanting a guy, a relationship, maybe more?
    I think maybe you are 'self-sabotaging' yourself, not loving yourself, enough to let anyone love you!
    It's pretty common, but it is easy to fix!! :)

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  • Yea I think we're kind of in the same shoes, Except I'm younger, I'm a bit shy, but not that shy anymore, but I'm still shy tho, Girls normally just make eye contact with me N smile a little N they expect me to make the first move, but I never do... Ohh well. I'll just stay single

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  • Then don't date... for now!
    Better suited for you to JOIN co-ed groups and bump into more easily guys that can be more confident to BE with you = same as a date, actually. Begin with groups that need your contributions, then expand out into things you know nothing about but are "hands on" guys, e. g. dance classes, which will soon offer tons of social opportunities that require guys to invite gals like you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well you mentioned you're shy and you have some self-esteem issues such as thinking that you're ugly. Maybe if you changed your outlook about yourself, you wouldn't have an issue in dating.

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