Former boyfriend still wants to meet up and "talk" even after all this?

We broke up last year it was a horrible time for both us and really had a rough patch and broke our relationship. Lately we've been back in contact the last couple months, we planned on meeting up but he cancelled last minute we still were talking but he was distant I basically tried to arrange another date with him and he asked why i wanted to see him after everything that happened and he doesn't know if he can go through it all again etc. So I told him I wanted to see him because I missed him and thought he felt the same way because he arrange a day to meet up and i asked why he changed his mind. He then replied "just the whole meeting up thing is scary maybe we could do something but I don't want to be leading you on but I'm just so busy with work matches and my social life needs to fit in there somewhere I'm just happy where I am and not looking for anything at the moment and I'm genuinely afraid if we met up we would do things together and it would go nowhere I'm laying it out there because I don't want to be using you" so I replied basically explaining I'm not interested in just sex and that I thought he had a genuine reason for wanting to see me. And then he replied saying he was just being honest but he still wants to see me and that maybe we could meet up tomorrow or the next day and go to the movies and then we could talk?

I honestly am so confused what would he possibly want to talk about? I am so in love with this guy and I want to get back together but I'm not going to be used just for sex in hopes he will come back. He made if seem like he still had feelings for me and then hit me with that bomb. Honestly so upset and don't know what to do because I miss him and want to see me but I have made it clear I don't want to be just friends or have sex with him so why would he still want to meet up and talk? :(

As well he re added me on social media right before he cancelled on me?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • He wants closure that's all and possibly try to be friends. He does not want to get back with you whatsoever. I know that's hard to hear, but it's the truth and you have to let him go.

  • I would away with complicated relationships!


What Girls Said 1

  • It doesn't seem like he is interested in opening up that channel again. I think he just wants to have a little closure. He has already told you that he doesn't want to lead you on. I would take what he says and interpret it exactly how he's saying it. Meaning, believe everything he is saying. I think reading too deeply into it is destructive and will cause you heartache.