At the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend messaged girls a lot but he's stopped now. Should I be worried about future behavior?

We've been going out for a year and four months. He told me he loved me first, within a week of being with me, and said from the moment he saw me he knew he wanted me. I'm overcoming my insecurities and just want feedback. About a month into our relationship he messaged this girl we used to work with and was saying hi, how are you, etc, but gave her his number and said to hit him up sometime. I found out she used to have a big crush on him. He messaged a girl he used to like too, just saying hi but nothing came from it. He messaged her before we went out saying "you're so perfect." Around the time he messaged her she got arrested for prostitution. Another girl caused us problems that he went to school with, she was interested in him, and tried involving me in the drama, saying she didn't know he had a girlfriend. With the first girl, we had to keep our relationship a secret because we worked together and could get in trouble. The second girl he messaged when our relationship was public. The third girl, we had no social media, but he goes to school with her and regularly talks about me to his classmates, so she should know about me. Is any of that suspicious? I'm not trying to be a worry wort I just worry. He's always with me and has done a lot to prove to me he's sincere.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow, it sounds like he has a lot of baggage to be dealing with. I don't think he is the right kind of guy for you and this sounds like he is still flirting with other girls wither in front of you or behind your back. Do you really want to tolerate that? Because that's exactly what it sounds like to me. Leading you on to believe that. That shouldn't even be happening and he should be cutting off ties with those girls not drag you in the middle of that crap. It is suspicious behavior? Yes it is. And you have the right to be wary. All those chicks are red flags.

    If he is truly sincere, he needs to drop them. All of them. Not partial. Because this is causing you to distrust him. If he doesn't seem trustworthy, you don't need to stick around for that. And by the way: "you're so perfect." is FLIRTING! Do you want a guy who flirts with other women?

    • The "you're so perfect" comment was over a year before he got with me. He stopped contact with all of them awhile ago, and with the last girl he stopped talking to her when he realized she was interested in him. But I'd see her messaging him and he'd delete some texts. He doesn't talk to any girls anymore and hasn't in months but I was asking because it makes it hard to trust NOW even thought it was months ago.

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    • @Asker sounds like a mixture of what you mom said and what he said. But he needs to be more careful what he allows in his relationship, or it will end it. And that applies to the both of you. And don't be afraid to put your foot down make boundaries of things you allow and won't allow. Remember that if neither of you don't like it, you don't need to be in this relationship. It's all about communicating and having respect for each other, not just yourselves.

    • Thank you. I feel better, I'm trying to resolve past issues to be a better girlfriend

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What Girls Said 1

  • Who knows. Fuk around behind his back.