Question about online dating struggles?

I'm a 24-year old guy who's noticed that when I go out in public, girls (even if I've never met them before) that I find attractive will come up to talk to me/show interest in me. But when I try out dating sites (tinder, pof, etc.) I struggle WAY more. Every time I find a girl who I'm attracted to or seem to share interests with, they rarely match with me/message or show interest. I've been told I have a "young" or "innocent" face before so I'm wondering if I look too young online, where other factors like being 6'4" help me look more my age in public. I'm thinking this might be the reason, because when I DO match with someone they're usually 18 or 19 😑. I attached some of the photos i use on dating sites, can you give me some input about why these pics don't seem to be working for me online? Or why you would "swipe left" to me or choose not to match or start a conversation? It's really confusing to me, I'm thinking I might just lose the apps and start got out to bars every night lol!Question about online dating struggles!?Question about online dating struggles!?Question about online dating struggles!?Question about online dating struggles!?Question about online dating struggles!?Question about online dating struggles!?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You look like a nice friendly guy. I'd say take of the pics with girls though. Usually drinking pics aren't good either, but yours isn't too bad actually... Only the girl and guitar pic makes it worse lol... the three combined you look like a guy who goes out a lot and performs and has groupies lol, just taking out the pic with the girls would change it.
    Generally, guys choose people without pics of them with some dude with his arm round her, and girls choose people without pics of guys with their arm round a girl. It's normal.

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    • Appreciate the advice! I actually don't use the girl pics but I wanted to test the waters and see what people said. Definitely won't use it!! And the alcohol comes a little from my self-consciousness about not looking like I'm 21, it's stupid I know... but I'll try losing the beer pics too!

    • The alcohol pic isn't actually too bad by itself. It doesn't look like some guys who look like they just party wild too much and can't be sensible with their drink and just enjoy a drink without getting fucked up every time.
      I think the only reason you look so young is because you have really good skin. The way you hold yourself and how you dress is older.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Online dating is (much) harder for guys than offline dating. This is because the whole thing is more about looks, guys outnumber girls and guys will spam girls, so even a mediocre girl (looks and personality/achievement wise) thinks she can get a brain surgeon who is a Ryan Gosling look-alike.

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    • What? I dont look like Ryan Gosling? My life is ruined... jk haha but yeah there's a lot of truth in what you said!

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What Girls Said 14

  • I like all the pictures, except the one with the girls, of course. When looking for a relationship, women don't want to see other girls hanging around you.
    I would swipe left, as I personally don't like that pic of you with these girls, and because that can of beer. I don't like men who drink. Other than that, you look fine, and I would be attracted.

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    • Appreciate it! I'll try losing the beer pics and won't use the ones with the girls (even if they're family)

    • No problem! Girls don't know the story behind the pics, s it is all about the first impression. When they see the photo of you with the girls, they will get a negative first impression.

  • I hate hate hate when guys post pictures with girls. That's an automatic left swipe. Just because it comes off so douchey.

    Put on more selfies! I pay more attention to those

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    • They're probably relatives, don't be harsh

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    • They are relatives but I will definitely stay away from that from now on lol

    • Also I actually have never used this pic on sites, I used it as a test to see if girls actually find this douchey. Question answered.

  • You look gay and most likely a serial killer. But that's how a lot of white guys look.

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  • Your not a bad looking guy, when it comes to online dating people are just flaky which is why I would stay away from online dating all together.

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  • I would probably swipe right with you, but don't expect me to start a conversation because 1) I might not think we have enough in common and 2) there are guys who message me that I'm interested in so I don't really need to reach out.

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    • Yeah from what I understand girls are overwhelmed with messages so I guess I'll try to write some messages that stand out from the crowd

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What Guys Said 6

  • This is such an unnecessary things to worry about, if you can meet women in real life then do that, it's much better than meeting them online anyway.

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    • True, it's sometimes hard to find a good place to go out in my area though. I'd definitely prefer meeting in person

  • OK, first, *Never* use a picture on a dating website of yourself with your arms around two women! It is not relevant if they may be your sisters or whatever, it will come across "player-ish". Also, half of your 6 pictures show you with booze. If you're a partier and want a partier, fine, but be aware of the way it comes across. Many who use dating websites do so because they don't like the bar/party pickup scene. Just my opinion, and it's worth what you paid me for it.

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  • Attractive girls on dating sites have to dodge sausage like mad just to stay afloat. It can be harder to get their attention.

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  • Online dating is a crapshoot for sure. Sometimes it takes a lot of rejection to find luck on the sites and apps.

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  • You are very good looking... you have a wonderful smile, you've chosen a good style for yourself. That you are struggling just goes to show how stupidly picky can be on dating sites.

    The pictures are okay, maybe more of you doing stuff, and less with other people in them. I note you have a drink in your hand in most of them, which is something not all online daters approve of (like I said, people are stupid and picky).

    I wouldn't worry that much, you've been blessed with good looks, any girl with her head on straight would be happy to date a guy like you.

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    • Internet is all about making impressions. So, the most important thing is not how you really look like, but you present yourself. What concerns profile pictures, you just need to know a few tips how to make it successful. There is a good article on this meetville. com/blog/how-to-get-the-best-dating-profile-photo/
      The only thing you need to do is to make a good first impression. And then you can make her fall for you with other ways ;)

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