I like him, but he has her. Don't know what to do?

My friend of 9 years... I really like him.
But he has agitlfriend. I think I've always liked him since we were 17... But it wasn't ment to be. I guess but I really like him and I think he does too but
I'm scared of asking and plus I'm dumb because he already has a girl but I can't help these feelings.. only good thing is I'll be getting shipped out soon and that should help. Right


Most Helpful Girl

  • My boyfriend has a best female friend he's super close to her he probably gets along with her better, has more fun with her than he does with me.. They are best friends for a reason. They went to a vacation together for her bday, he cares about her very much.
    In the beginning of our relationship I asked him if he were never attracted to her romantically because I never had a guy best friend guys I liked a lot as friends eventually developed feelings for me so that concept just never convinced me.
    He says he sees her as one of his 'dudes' and he never sees her like that. He says if something significant happens between them where that changes his perspective of her, he might be, but he doubt that.
    And he was telling me if he ever attracted to her like that just because he likes her very much (as friends) and just because they get along great, that means he would have attracted to his guy friends the same way and ended up gay himself lol
    and he says that he doesn't want to lose her friendship anyways by risking it like that.

    He has a girl friend. Means he's attracted to someone else and having his romantic relationship with her. If he were seeing you more than just friend then you would have been his girlfriend not his friend.

    Just be supportive. Keep your relationship with him as it is. Who knows things turn out bad between him and his current girlfriend and maybe he will find something in you in the future. Don't do any stupid things and ruin what you already have with him. And it's not right to touch a guy who has a girlfriend anyways.

    Meanwhile, try to go out on dates with other guys. Don't kill yourself over this guy. Maybe you will find your right guy out there. Good luck.

    • Thank you (:
      This is actually perfect!
      Cause I'm the girl who has guy friends and none have ever been romantic nor has the guy tried anything, except for this one who all of a sudden I'm attracted too. thank you for your advice (:

What Guys Said 1

  • he's got a girl
    back off respect ghis relationship
    true love you'd want his happiness before your own
    It's lust

    side note

    where you shipping out to?


What Girls Said 5

  • Silence is Golden here, Dear... Sadly, he is Taken.
    No Matter how you Might feel, No Matter what Their Deal, Keep it to Yourself if you Want to Continue at least Your... Friendship of 9 Years.
    If he has Anything to Talk Turkey to you about with this Chick, and would Concern a new Yearn, I am Sure you Would be the First on his List.
    Good luck. xx

    • Yeah, someone else said my feelings are lust and they're probably right.
      I haven't and won't say anything. Rather keep him around a lifetime as a friend then a sort period of time as a boyfriend

      Thanks (:

    • And with this "Lust," maybe crush and a wish inside that is a Wish, Where "I Wish he could have have been mine."
      You will meet another who is Available and More with Everything for you. xx

  • Well, how would you feel if someday you had a boyfriend who had a girl do that to him? Respect his relationship and girlfriend. Don't be a homewrecker.

    • If I wanted to wreck things I wouldn't have gotten in here to get advice. But you're right.

    • Show All
    • Lol oh okay, yeah I feel like people are very judgy here , my bad but seriously thanks for the advice lol
      Home wrecking won't be on my resume!!! 😂👌🏻👌🏻

    • Sorry if I might have come off as accusing. It was my bad. I didn't read through my answer properly :)

  • Don't confess your feeling ! It will ruin your friendship
    If you likes you too he will make a move

    • why would you date someone who'd dump you because he found someone better

    • Show All
    • I'm not going to confess , if I did I would be acting selfish and that's not okay. What they don't know won't hurt them right...


      if you don't flirt to find out?

  • And it's not meant to be now either, so back off and leave things be.

  • do not destroy your friend's relationship just because you like him. Remember, he has a girlfriend. If he likes you too, then what's the purpose of their relationship? I think you guys should talk to make things clear. :)

    • I actually don't want to talk I rather let things be and ignore the fact that I have a crush on him. These advices are kinda cold turkey about not saying anything and Ima just not say anything lol