Does your significant other text while with you? Does it bother you and when should you put your foot down?

I'm just wondering how you guys and girls deal with this.

My girlfriend and I don't often get to hang out more than twice a week because of my studies. While I looked forward to seeing her during the night yesterday, she didn't seem all that interested and would be easily distracted by her phone. Whenever she would get a text she would constantly go straight to her phone to send a text back. Sometimes she would even glance at her phone to see if she got a text message. She would go on and on about the funny stuff they are talking about. I didn't let it bother me until she kept doing it all night.

I joked about it to her while hinting that it was bothering me. I then decided to do the same thing and the moment I started doing it, she told me she was bothered and to stop. We talked about it and she would make up excuses about the person being just a friend and that he's waiting for another message from her. This texting back and forth was going on until about 3 AM in the morning. I told her that I'll make it easier for her by breaking up with her.

What was really curious was when I grabbed her phone to put away. I think she thought I was going to read the message and really panicked. She started getting furious too. I would never read her texts and yet she can read all mine because I let her. She's making me want to read the texts. I trust her 100% but after this I question whether or not I can go through with this relationship if she keeps testing my trust like this.

In the end I did not break up with her, however I know she still will text often while we're together. The next time I see it, I will not take her back. I am way too busy with my studies to deal with this sort of childish behavior.

Do you guys let your significant other text often while dating or hanging out? How much is your limit? Did I make the right decision?


Most Helpful Girl

  • We're barely on our phones when we're together, unless we're just relaxing and not doing anything. So if he's watching TV and I'm not interested in the show, I'll be on my phone or something like that, but it's never to the point where it's actively something that impacts the time we spend together negatively. To me that signifies that they're more interested in whoever they're talking to, than me. Which in some cases is a little bit of an over-exaggeration, but it's a pet peeve of mine. Especially for a couple who does not get that much time together, it's important to spend quality time together, and one being on their phone the entire time doesn't make it that.

    It is a little fishy that she would have such a strong reaction to you grabbing her phone, so I can get why you might be a little suspicious or wary about it.. don't joke about it next time it happens. Make it clear to her and it's legitimately a problem for you and you would appreciate it if she took the effort to do better with it because you value the time you get to spend with her.


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you are hanging out together :
    (1) why is she texting instead of spending tjme with you , and
    (2) why are you studying instead of spending time with her?

    • 1. I don't mind her texting a little when we spend time with one another. What bothers me is when she texts in half the time we're together. Why is she texting often instead of spending time with me? I don't know.

      2. I study because I want to pass my classes. My life will always be a priority.

    • Show All
    • You seem very self centered - you want her to spend time with YOU yet YOUR studies matter more than her. Not exactly fair

    • You're over exaggerating my comments. I study as much as I need to, and I spend as much as my free time as possible with my girlfriend.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • When me and my SO are together, we don't text other people unless it's a parent, related to studies or something that really can't wait. Casual chatting to friends while with my partner is a big no-no and takes away from the fact that we're spending alone time together. i can text friends another time :) And yes, you're right. If she has no respect for you, your relationship and your wishes then she needs to go!

  • Your feelings seem right on target and you deserve more respect than that. She obviously enjoys texting more than spending quality time in person with you. She sounds like she might be liking someone online.

  • no never

  • oh no... from experience.. sounds like she might be cheating... and i know this because i was the cheater in a really bad abusive relationship. i would jump on my texts any chance i got to talk to this guy.

    • it's kind of obvious. she pretty much just admitted to you it's a guy too lol. she likes another guy no doubt about it. it's up to you if you stay with her, and later find out she cheated so you wasted that time with her, or be done with her. you two are clearly not working out anyhow D=

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!