Why are guys so nice but don't do anything?

Recently several guys have treated me very kindly. They'll help me, compliment me, and treat me swooping acts of chivalry. These same guys will procede to flirt with me, but then nothing happens. Why is that?


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you want it, go and get it. Don't sit and wait for it to come to you.


Most Helpful Girl

  • When you flirt back.. are you weird about it?

    • I mean I flirt like a normal human being. When I'm first getting to know them I admittedly look like an idiot at times, but to be fair I think that happens even to the best of us.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Do they realize you are under 18? I many states in the US, it is a crime to do certain things with women under the 'Age of Consent', usually 18, sometimes 16.

    • I'm actually in college. I'm just an idiot and thought that picking a random birth date would give more ambiguity to my person, because I'm super embarrassed that I've resorted to asking advice online.

      But I'm just referring to getting the ball rolling. Like going on dates and such. I typically get to know guys in class, internships, we'll "hang out" and study together, but then nothing else happens.

    • OK, good to know. I LOVED study dates!! When I liked a girl, I would ask her to go out, somewhere kind of nice, a good pizza place, where there was a quiet corner, and we could talk, and discuss (Yeah, we did REALLY do some studying!!!)
      Other times, if she was a vegetarian, we would go to, I forgot the name!! It was a salad buffet place, and we would just eat, and talk, and maybe flirt! Then we would focus on the classwork, and maybe sneak out to get some dessert, or something else, over the 3-4 hours!! I'm sure they hated us, and lost money on us, but I figured it was their corporate donation to our education!! :)
      After we study, and if I liked her, I would suggest a little walk, somewhere nearby, casually, like 'I would like to hear more about what you think about. . ." and add something she mentioned.
      Holding hands isn't a given, but with a nice sunset, the right park, maybe a little kiss because she has been teasing me for hours with just one extra button, on her top, open...

    • Oh my gosh see thats how I thought study dates would end! Like getting to know the person more, and then stuff would just slowly work out. Sometimes I think maybe I'm just intimidating? I don't really know what to do... But what I think is weird is older guys (36-26) are the ones that will actually "make a move" with out really any encouragement, but guys that are more my age (25-20) that I actually do flirt with don't. do you think there is a reason for that?

What Girls Said 1

  • because it sounds like you just sit on your butt and wait for things to happen. you want the guy to do all the work while you sit back and relax. in other words, you are a terrible girlfriend material.

    • But what are you suppose to do? I admittedly am terrible at this or else I wouldn't be on here (insert crying emoji here).

    • "I'm terrible, so I'll just accept it, and let guys do everything." That's very proactive of you. Yep.

    • I'm sorry, I think you miss understood me. I want to change what I am doing so I don't "sit on my butt and wait for things to happen". What would you recommend?

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