Super complicated girl. can you help me figure her out?

here are some of the drama that i'm facing with this girl which makes it the most complicated dating situation i've been in. i'd like your help in sorting them out.

met a girl for a date, goes extremely well, kiss at the end.

leading up to the second date she tries to cancel- says she likes too much, doesn't wanna hurt me, she's in a bad place in her life, has cheated in the past

i just say lets see where the chips fall

she invites me to her place before the day we were suppose to have a second date- says she's sick and needs comforting. says she might break down and cry on me.

i go there, she seems normal, and we start making out, and before sex she says she'll lose me sooner if we do have sex. but we do it anyways.

the next day we go on the date and both have a fantastic time. she writes me back that night it was one of the best nights ever, still can hear my voice in her head which is comforting, etc.

i tell her the next day i miss her alreay, and this is where she seems to do a complete 180. she says in so many words that she doesn't, that i was suppose to take care of her instead of sleeping with her, there's no emotional connection because of this.

now we already setup a 3rd date which she's very enthusiastic about. and the sex was good, i know that. i mean the quality of it isn't what's making her say these things.

and she's not unstable either. in fact much more steady and calm than a lot of people, mentally.

i'm just going with the flow at the moment, but obviously i've started to like her.

what are some realizations i should be having about her?


Most Helpful Girl

  • you say she's stable? either you just refuse to see it, or i don't know what the hell is with you! she's manipulating you already, and it's only third date on the cards. Do you need all this drama, do you want it? can you imagine how difficult later on, because she won't change. She doesn't need to change - she gets all she wants from you as it is.

    best advice? RUN as fast and as far as you can.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I would learn a whole lot more about her before becoming involved. You say she is stable, yet she has shown you that her behavior is erratic at best. I'm not saying she is Bi-Polar, but her behavior sure sounds like it. she's all over the place. Happy one minute, not so happy the next. If you just go for it, you can exect a rocky road. Her comments about you were supposed to take care of her rather than having sex. I feel bad for her, but I would never enter into a relationship other than friends. If you do it, go in with eyes wide open. It's goiung to be very hard. She has already proven that. Don't expect a magical change, she has problems that aren't just going to disapear. Good luck whatever you do.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • She's confused, she thinks she is moving too fast chill out you know? tell her you're into her she's just being insecure she doesn't want this to be a filing make her believe this isn't a fling girls are suckers for talkers so talk her into it reassure her she'll be fine and if she says something like that again stop talking to her for a while and tell her that you're giving her a break to think about things and clear her mind that will clear her mind in a few short hours. cheers

  • Can be many things. She could possible be in a bad place but then why try to get involved with you?
    But then you also need to realize female players exist and are very common. She comes off as vulnerable to lure you in , get in some penis time and sees other guys on the side.
    Either way i dont know you just need to talk to her.


What Guys Said 1

  • I think that you're doing fine, like maybe she's testing you to see if you only talked to her for sex, however if she has cheated before you'd have to be cautious, maybe she doesn't know what she wants, and although she's calm she's very confused, I'd recommend you to beware, but you can't decide when to fall in love for her, so good luck man

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