Do you think guys who physically "look" confident but aren't have even more trouble than guys who do physically look shy and are?

[Please don't vote until you've actually read the whole thing]

My theory is this. You take two attractive dudes the "shy" looking shy guy Do you think guys who physically
and the more "confident LOOKING" guy who is also just as shy

The first guy will have easier time than the second because neither of them will EVER ask a girl out cause they're too shy. So they have to wait for girls to ask them out. Many girls will think the first guy likes them and that's he's too shy too approach cause he looks like a shy guy. So confident girls will ask him out themselves. With the second guy even confident girls won't ask him out because they assume he's not shy and if he isn't asking them out it must mean he's not interested in the slightest and thus won't bother because they're certain the guy will reject her. However, internally this guy could very well have the hugest crush on that girl who decided to believe he isn't attracted to her.

What do you think?

(And yes this is me asking girls who do occasionally ask guys out. Don't be afraid to ask out even the non shy looking guys. They are just as capable as being shy as the shyer looking ones. I promise you)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think this is a good theory. I could see what you say as being true.

    Are you the confident looking shy guy or the not so confident looking shy guy? Just being nosey...

    Either way, I feel for you guys. No matter how society changes, one thing remains constant, women expect men to be the initiator and I do not see that changing anytime soon. :(

    But good theory. I think. :)

    • Obviously I'm not Jensen Ackles himself but yeah I've been told I have that whole confident strong silent type thing going on but in reality I'm just shy and reserved.

    • I never knew Dean's name was Jensen Ackles. Yeah, that guy is super hot and Dean definitely does not have issues with asking girls out. lol!

      Maybe you can let girls know you are interested in a relationship and in them particularly without having to put yourself out there and actually ask them out. Maybe you can get them to see you as they would see the not so good looking guy.

      However, I do not think that would actually help with getting a date from a girl. I would be surprised if the not so good looking shy guys have a lot of women or even some women asking them out either. I really think you need to just start asking people out.

      Cuz again, men are the initiators.

      At least you have a less likely chance of them turning you down than the not so good looking guys. The women already assume you are confident so they will be more attractive to you than if you did not look confident. And since you can't escape asking them out.../shrug

      Just a thought.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes but kind of an odd question to me.

    All people have to go by when judging a person, especially one they don't know so well, is outward appearance -- how the person looks, walks, talks, smiles, etc.

    If you look confident even though you aren't, then it's going to help. People aren't mind-readers so it's really the impression you give to people that counts.

    If the most insecure guy in the world could convince everyone else around him that he doesn't give a damn, then he'll just be as good from an attraction standpoint as an identical twin who is genuinely confident. It's generally difficult for someone who doesn't have any confidence to behave this way though without becoming an obvious act.

    Meanwhile even a genuinely confident guy who acts in a way that gives off the perception that he's insecure and is worried about what everyone thinks, even if he doesn't, is not going to be perceived as confident and will not be so well-suited for attracting a large number of females.

    • ... so in short how you look does count towards how people perceive your character.

    • Show All
    • Maybe he was just brought up by traditional parents who simply taught him how to stand tall with shoulders back and head high.

    • That could be true but even then it gives off the perception of confidence, and that's all that matters when it comes to attracting girls on a first impression -- looking confident whether he is or not.

      If the girl approaches him and talks to him and finds he's shy, she might forgive him more easily given how she was attracted to him more anyway on first impression which gave her the feeling that he was confident.

      It's easier to attract girls and get your foot in the door first, so to speak, than look like a nervous wreck which will rarely ever attract any.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I NEVER ask a guy out BUT i agree that confident-looking shy guys have it harder

  • Im having this issue right now. I THINK. Because there is a club i go to on Sunday. And i compleatly understand what you are saying about guys who look confident have it harder. Because he will come up to me then chicken out and literally run away before i can say anything. And when I've gone up to him. he only gives one word answers. But he looks so suave while doing it. But he is always watching me and he showed jealousy when another guy was hitting on me.


What Guys Said 3

  • Being shy isn't a disadvantage. Unless you actively try to avoid women in public and hide your face whenever a woman sees you. But that's more then just shy.

    Girls like shy guys. The second guy is the strong but silent type. The first guy is the sweeter, nicer type.

    Going by looks. The first guy could be the biggest asshole on this planet, and the second guy could me a complete crybaby.

    • They could but I'm trying to go by what people assume and most people usually act on those assumptions.

  • I completely understand what you're saying. Its really unorthodox but i get you. Guy #1 is less intimidating so yes #2 still gets approaches but he needs to take the lead because its her persona, for the reasons you explained. Guy #1 can get away with a lot more.

  • id say yesssssss

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