I'm terrified I'm going to lose this girl. What do I do?

I met her on a campus trolley. She's just amazing she's everything I've ever wanted, but I'm not. I'm not fit or tan and I'm kinda awkward and boring and quirky sometimes. How can I be better (besides working out. I will definetly do that).


What Girls Said 1

  • You have talked to her once or twice and you are already willing to change for her? I mean... you don't even know the chick and you claim she's amazing and she's everything you have ever wanted. I think you have created a false image about her in your head and that is incredibly unhealthy.

    • We spent all day for 2 days together just talking that's at least 15 hours.
      And yea I really really like what I know of her so far, i see a bright future in her. I see potential. So yes I don't want it to slip away before I even have it.
      Do I know her completely? No. Do I know I like her? Absolutely. And I'm willing to change for someone I like.

What Guys Said 1

  • What does "lose" mean in this context? She's already your girlfriend?

    If so, maybe the first thing to work on are the insecurities of losing her -- try to overcome any feelings of jealousy, possessiveness, fear of her losing interest in you. Those fears can end up making her leave faster than any guy.

    Be happy she chose you as a boyfriend and go with that. Don't shower her with love and affection though, moderate that. Too much and those gestures can start becoming taken for granted and lose their impact and meaning (not just for girls -- if a girlfriend told you she loves you all the freaking time and showered you with affection, it'd have the same kind of effect of losing its meaning and power).

    It's like give a girl flowers every single freaking day and flowers will lose a lot of their meaning. It'll become a routine, and she'll become upset if you break the routine. Meanwhile give her flowers once a year out of the blue and she might think you're the sweetest boyfriend. The guy who does this more rarely is often better off than the one who does it daily. This is not just about gifts and flowers -- it's a metaphor for romantic gestures in general.

    Keep it in moderation, and also give a girl a chance to miss you from time to time. Maintain your independent lifestyle. Include her in your life, don't revolve your entire life around her.

    • Working out is a good idea in general for your own health and sex appeal, but don't do it out of paranoia that a girl is going to leave you if you don't. Never let the idea that your girlfriend is out of your league get to your head. It'll tend to make your nightmares come true.

    • Remember that confidence attracts at all points, even when inside a relationship. A confident person isn't paranoid about losing. They believe in themselves.

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