Boyfriend suggesting move in with FAMILY?

Omg so this is the deal. We've been dating over a year now. It's still going well. Met his family. They are awesome. They love me and I REALLY like them. My boyfriend has talked about us moving in together for a long time now. He's shown me places and took me to different parts of the city asking if I like it. BUT the last couple of weeks he's been weird. Twice he snuck in a small part about how would I feel living with his family. Even going as far as saying, " yea you'd have to change your sleeping patterns because my MOM won't like you sleeping in." 😑 It's not that I don't like them. I do. I just don't want to live with them. I don't even want to live with MY parents. He even took me to look at awsome condos the day AFTER HIS MOM AND AUNT SAW THEM!!! Apparently his mom liked the same ones I did. They are only 3 bedrooms and he's looking to BUY IT. He said his mom and dad would have a room, his aunt, and then him and his brother would share a room. He didn't even mention me untill he said his mom would never let me have a pet. I'm so confused and I'm not sure how to bring up my feelings on NOT wanting to live with his family or the fact that he's now wishy washy on moving in together. one point it was i could pick any place I wanted and now... he's taking his mom 1st. So my two questions: 1. Is this a culture issue between us because he's Asian and I'm not and 2. How do I ask him about it without being rude? I don't want him to think it's because I don't like his family. Thanks. 😫?


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What Guys Said 1

  • This is a serious matter and you are right to ask him questions, tell him your expectations, and listen to his. This discussion is important for every relationship but particularly so for cross-cultural relationships.


What Girls Said 1

  • Please, don't do that, even if you have a great relationship with your boyfriend's family.
    Living together with your boyfriend's family is an entirely different thing and it is indeed a recipe for drama. Also, it may eventually lead to many arguments.

    • That's what I'm afraid of.

    • My parents went through that till they immigrated to another country. Also, recently one of my friends is dealing with the same issue. It's never a good idea.

    • he's not even the oldest son. I thought it was supposed to be the eldest son. I don't mind living near by I'd love that... just not in the same house.