Feel like second choice to my boyfriends ex crush?

My boyfriend and I used to be friends, and I know he used to be a player who slept with quite a few girls. He never grew attached to anyone except for this one girl who he was crazy about. She's really popular, active and pretty. They slept together twice but she never really liked him. Since then, he had a semi girlfriend but after they split up he still went back to thinking about this girl.

At the beginning of our relationship, he would mention his past flings, especially her. It has been a year now and I know that he is over her for sure as he has stopped talking about her and when I ask, he reassures me that he doesn't love her at all but loves me. He is a very good boyfriend to me, and I am his first proper girlfriend. I know that she even tried to get in contact with him recently as she wanted to have sex with him but he declined and ignored her. Still, I feel very insecure... like had he been with her, he would have loved her more. I also feel quite insulted because I feel like he only settled for me, seeing as our relationship grew out of friendship and it took him forever to ask me to be his girlfriend. I just feel so insecure that he never actively fancied and pursued me at the beginning and really resent him for it. I don't know how to get past these insecurities!11


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What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah you have a real mind fuck going on here. Bottom line? Stop doing this to yourself. You said you are positive he's over this chick and committed to you yet you then beat yourself up. Stop it! What's more important? That you have him NOW or what happened in the past? Is it better that he love you NOW or that in the past he be crazy for you?
    He was crazy for super popular all that chick, look what happened? HE'S WITH YOU! So that doesn't help.
    Seriously woman stop hurting yourself. You got a great thing going here enjoy it.


What Girls Said 1

  • I have to agree with the guy. Stop worrying. I know its easier said than done. I'm the same way. always thinking about my guy and his past. But honestly you're lucky. You have him now not her. :)