When you are interested in someone, do you naturally become interested in their interests as well? Is that a healthy or wrong thing to do?

To explain, I'm interested in a guy who is a musician; for example: he told me his favorite band and so I gave them a listening and talked to him about this band for a good hour. I shared what songs I liked and whatever, and said I liked the band (I do). Or like he has more of a darker mind and is into really darker things. I have always been too, but his is maybe a bit darker, and I've noticed since I've been talking to him, I've picked up on some of these thoughts as well. Like I said though, I've already been into dark and creepy things. Orrr if he tells me his goals and beliefs, I find that my beliefs that I had prior doubted are more encouraged around him, and I just want to make sure I'm not coming off as a fake by agreeing to what he states, even if I DO agree in them. We only have known each other for a few months. Ummmm or for clothing, for example, he wears a lot of band shirts and has a jean vest since he's a bit punk. I've noticed that for my fashion, I've always dressed more gothy-90's Rock, but I find myself even more drawn to grungier things now. Like today I found myself wanting to buy graphic tshirts to "fit in" more with his crowd. I'm not exactly confining or changing, because these are my interests and what I'm naturally drawn to, but I find that I highlight them more and try make him notice our shared interests more.. Either through dress, talking, makeup, Facebook posts, etc.. and I'm wondering if that makes me look bad? I'm not overly doing it, I'm just slanting more towards bringing "that" part in me out, as to where before I met him, I concealed it more because I thought I freaked people out or I didn't feel comfortable. I'm also wondering if guys can tell when a girl is trying to be more like him to please him VS. just trying to find ground in shared interests.

And honestly I'm just really excited to have met someone with shared interests and encourages me as he does, so I have been more expressive but I don't want to come off as a fake


Most Helpful Guy

  • yes you kind of do, which is bad, cause it will only last as long as your initial crush lasts. as soon as you get together and get a little used to each other, your interest in that fades, which my cause problems

    • Can guys easily tell or do they think they found someone with shared interests?

    • it´s pretty hard to tell, cause if you really love a girl, you carry that passionover to that thing she likes which you probably usually don´t. also it´s not just a "guy" thing :P

    • True! Haha, I forgot to think about that :b

What Guys Said 1

  • No it is normal to look into their interests and see what you like. Though getting new clothes is a bit far. As for your beliefs the new ones that you like or got from him won't last if you two break up. The ones that are doubled will go back to normal over time even with him around.
    I actually did this with the girl that I liked recently. I asked her what books she liked or suggested and now I'm trying to read a few of them. Some I liked but others I did not. The few that I did not think that I would like I gave a chance because she suggested them I also probably gave them a higher review cause of her also.

    • But why is that a bad thing? Isn't that just trying to get to know the other person and what they like and how they think? What's wrong with that? It's like if I had a favorite musician, I would love it if the person I'm dating would start listening to their music because they know I do. That shows they care and are trying to understand me.

    • Show All
    • Yeah I believe so but I feel like their thoughts I've already had but strengthened

What Girls Said 1

  • I no longer do that, but I have done it once or twice a couple of years before ><.