Should you give a friend a chance?

Say you have been friends for a few years, you know them pretty well, but aren't like best friends. What do you do if they suddenly ask you out and you're not sure of your feelings towards them? Should you still accept and give it a chance or do you decline thinking that you would have feelings for them by now if it was possible.

I don't want to lead my guy friend on, but I'm not sure if what I feel is only friendship or not.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't jump to an answer here.. really think hard and objectively about it... Was his side of the friendship possibly based on his attraction to you? Or was it purely platonic that has changed on his side. If platonic, it may be salvageable if it goes wrong. If he has always hoped to get together with you this could get messy no matter what. If you say no, he could resent you for not giving him a chance. he may get back in line and be like before, but there will always be part of him that wants you and hates the fact he can't.

    • I think it definitely started out platonic. As he was very shy, and we did our night shifts together at work, so I was bored and just talked at him all the time... he is also a few years younger than me, and we just turned into good friends over the years. We also still work together, so the issue of it not going well and if he takes it awkwardly that could go bad as well.

    • I would just be cautious as if he is shy, he may have befriended you hoping for more from the start. That is a very typical thing shy people do. Not saying it is 100% the case here.. just keep it in mind.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I was in this boat with my fiance :) we'd been good friends for a few years and he asked me out. I found him attractive and a good person but i really wasn't sure of my feelings. I think if you keep an open mind and communicate with him that you're unsure of your feelings but that you're willing to give it a try to see if it works - then go for it. Love built on friendship is pretty sturdy stuff. I'm not saying you'll get married next week, but there's obviously things about him you like since you're friends with him :)
    If he doesn't want to take things slow and see how it'll pan out, then it's not for you and you can get on with life.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • he asked, i agreed to give him a chance... aaaaaand it effectively ruined our friendship.

    don't get me wrong; i regret nothing, and i wish him every happiness in the world. we just weren't (romantically) compatible, and it's sad that we aren't close now. but people grow apart sometimes, and that's all fine and well.

    • So if you had a do over would you still go out with him or just continue being friends?

    • that's a good question, for a few reasons.

      1) if i could do it over, i wouldn't date him (in order to save our friendship. however...

      2) if i hadn't dated him, i likely would not have ended up where i am now. and i like where i've ended up.

      everything worked out as it was meant to, and i wouldn't rewrite a single word of my past, if it led me to anywhere but this place.

  • Remain 'Friends' for now, don't Over think anything. Keep it Light and Semi Sweet until you Feel it Could be a good Deal.
    As long as you don't Lead him on to Think there could be More in Store, it Sounds fine to me to See if there Could be a Chance for Romance.
    You never Know until you Try this with Joe. You have been Nursing and Nurturing this so far where I would Say Best from the Rest Friends and Relationship both of you Have ever Had.
    Good luck. xx