Would you date me? Or would you pass? (Description in details) Be honest?

22
• Quiet but knows how to be social.
• Drinks socially, smokes socially, but never a regular thing.
• Still in college, studying in the computer field.
• Loves trying new things in bed and for oral as well.
• Average body ( thin though) Size 4-6
• Loves food
• Can be a insecure but working on improving it everyday.
• Mature yet youthful
• Has own car, apartment and full time job, struggles sometimes, but knows how to get things done.
• Willing to try new things always
• Sporadic
• Sometimes sarcastic
• Dresses classy/casual/cute/sexy
• Very curious
• Loves a clean area but can be messy sometimes.
• Not very close to family for reasons but still associates with them.
• Plays video games sometimes
• Reads/Loves to Travel

I recently got dumped by this 25 year old who gambles, drinks and smokes all the time. Dont get me wrong, he's fun. He's a party guy, people like to be around him, he has a lot of friends. He said I was stressing him out though because I expected too much. Makes me question my character and if I need to change. Do I need to change anything? Or was I just with the wrong guy?

  • Yeah, I would date you. You were with the wrong guy.
    Vote A
  • Hm, not my type but thats ok, not everyones compatible.
    Vote B
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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132

Most Helpful Guy

  • Most of these could fit a good general population of girls. How you describe yourself and how other people perceive you is worlds different from the things you decided to put down here.

    Also have no idea exactly what happened between you both the entire time to cause the breakup. Or physical appearance for that matter.
    in my opinion only someone who has talked to you a ton, or knows you pretty well in person can accurately judge.

    If you don't like what I assume is 'immature/never serious/constantly drinking/smoking/serious gambling (losing money) party guy' types, then yeah probably with the wrong guy. Either way no idea what went on.

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    • Hm thats true.
      I mean I guess those are similar traits for girls. This is the surface of me I guess?
      I mean I get told guys get very comfortable with me fast and that I'm fun.
      Physical appearance, It's up to discretion.
      We met on an app that goes off looks so I guess he was kinda attracted?
      Breakup was I don't know to be honest. Too many differences and assumptions I guess?
      He got bored perhaps. It was getting too serious... who knows. He never officially broke up he just left. aha.
      We didn't see eye to eye. I wanted someone ambitious and to try new things.
      He wasn't ambitious and did traditional things. He ate the same foods most of the time. Never seen him try a lot of new things around me, but maybe he did in the past. who knows.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You sound great, the only things that are not that appealing is smoking and being sporadic.

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    • honestly I dont smoke like that.
      I should've rephrased.
      Smoking socially I meant hookah. But even then I dont even do that.

      If you dont mind whats wrong with sporadic?

    • I dislike sporadic people. I dislike that 'quality' in anyone.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 31

  • You had me at "loves food"

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    • haha. who doesn't love food though? just saying.

  • Don't change for anyone, its his problem not yours so I guess he was just rhe wrong guy not ready to settle or have responsibility.

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  • Gotta stop smoking, but I'd date you. Yeah.

    Also, how's you father? Is he a cool guy?

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  • smoking socially and not regularly is not possible at all. because smoking becomes an addiction no matter who is it, once you smoked a cigarette you become a smoker, until you quit it.

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    • Don't smoke a cigarette, I should've phrased that different. I meant I smoke hookah for fun to try out. No cigarettes though.

    • oh okay, hookah is more dangerous than cigarettes and thats a addiction too i think, but im not sure because i never smoked hookah.

  • You go to college and have a full time job, ummm

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  • You sound like someone I'd go out with but tbh I'm kinda sick of the bullshit that comes with dating women so probably not.

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    • I feel you. It's hard to compromise but it's good with the right person I guess?

    • It's not about compromise. Women talk big about equality and wanting someone who doesn't play games but they're worse than men on both fronts generally and I'm just kinda sick of it. I'd just like to cut all the bullshit, gender based rules, manipulation and all that nonsense out of the equation. Most people cannot match my moral integrity and that's twice as true with women from what I've experienced. I can be assertive and blunt but I don't lie and I don't expect anything that I wouldn't expect from myself. And it's just very hard to find someone who can match that because most people do these things more than they may realize. With the right person I'd absolutely go out with them but the odds are not favorable when it comes to finding someone like that.

  • Based on whatever you've said; I would date you; good education (which means I assume reasonable intelligence), curiosity, the love for reading and travel (we seem to share a lot of similar interests). So, you were caught with the wrong guy; so don't worry.

    But with that said, if I was dating you, I would try and persuade you to quit even social smoking.

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    • I'm reasonably educated yes. Only downfall for myself is my insecurity and I think I'm not good for anything. So sometimes I get scared and it effects my working. I had a lot of jobs BUT I'm always working despite that. I always find a job and keep myself working and focused on my long term goal. My ex judged me for job hoping and I know it's bad but he had problems too.

    • I guess most people have that insecurity issue. Most people around me have more faith in me than I've myself. If your ex judged you for job hoping, then, it's too bad on his part. Don't bother, it's his loss.

      Good luck for the times ahead :)

    • Thank you!

  • how pretty are you?
    smoking is deal breaker, so is dating a party guy and seeking that kind of life l
    also not being close with family is another issue the rest sounds good but if i dont feel good about you it won't happen.

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    • Uh depends on your personal preference I guess?
      People say I'm pretty... We met on an app that deals with looks.
      To clarify I don't smoke cigarettes, I meant if there's hookah I would try out.
      I understand about the family part. I would be concerned as well as to why. But I actually have my reasons.
      Hm, dating a party guy. I actually didn't know he was until he said he used to rave and goes to bars often/clubs. I should've known when he said that. I just didn't judge because I thought people are allowed to have fun? I don't know. I try to look for the best in people but that's my downfall right there. I can't change people at all.

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    • as for looks and the feeling i get about you it can't be helped if i dont have this feeling that i want to get to know you i dont think i will be interested

    • To each their own then

  • You lost me at smoking and describing your ex as a gambler but still fun.

    No interest in that.

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    • Why?
      I mean I understand. The guys I dated we were complete opposites. We were similar because we liked games and he was goofy. I didn't know he gambled until later. But I always look for the best in people.

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    • I don't smoke cigarettes. I meant I smoke hookah for fun to try out. Other than that, no cigs of any kind.

      I would say I'm 75% feminine and 25% masculine.

    • Hookah is actually as unhealthy as normal cigarettes.

      And well, what you consider as 75% feminine might be more or less on what I define as that, you know. So your word is kinda pointless since you have a different perception as I have.

  • Not my type.

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  • I don't like the smoking part and the things that you did in bed, so I don't think so.

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  • Smoking and insecurity, slightly a no-no, but everyone have their insecurities, it just depends on the level, I can't date you with the smoking, though. Sorry. You won't date me either it's good.

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    • You're right. Honestly I don't smoke. I just put that because if there's hookah I would try for fun but never for a long time. Yeah iminsecure but then I get motivated a lot when I hit a low. I try to get help. I don't like the way I look but no biggie, I just want a guy to comfort and say he does.

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    • Definitely no cigarettes whatsoever.
      Well thanks! I mean this was such a hard thing I doubted myself so I was wondering are these traits of mine good? I feel a little bit confident and perhaps yeah I just met a really bad guy is all.

    • Yes of course, and it happens, not all people are in the same wavelength as you when it comes to terms of what you're looking for in a relationship, and yes your traits are wonderfully great to have. It's rare to have much like that these days.

  • You sound perfect to me, it is a pity that I am old enough to be your granddad.

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  • yeah sounds good

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  • What were you expecting from a PARTY GUY? Lol come on...

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    • Partying is ok. Maybe he would've changed his ways? I try not to judge people but then it ends up not working at all.

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    • He didn't even like horror and that sucks. -_-
      I love horror movies

    • Yaayyy then I would date you... you are perfect! :-)

  • I'd pass because you smoke on occasion and you're insecure.

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  • Got me at pink anon.

    Pink anon are fab.

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    • i mean if thats your type then cool.

  • You sound cool
    I'd date you
    Sporadic?

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    • my mind can jump from one thing to another.
      so like if im doing something like... watching a show..
      i'll jump on my computer and do something else too.

    • Oh okkk
      Thanks
      I didn't knew its meaning
      You're cool don't worry 😊

  • Men mostly judge those traits visually.

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  • Why not? No red flags there. The "plays video games sometimes" is my favorite. You sound ideal, I'mma hit you up

    Kidding.

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    • The guy I was dating played league of legends.
      I actually hated that game but because he loved it, I downloaded it and tried learning how to play. :(

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    • ugh i honestly dont know. I wish I knew but he was a high level from what I remember.
      he was pretty good at it. I think a level 13? he plays league everyday for long periods of time so yeah.

    • Wait... he was level 13? That's not good at all, that's as trash as someone who just started. Anyway, still no excuse to yell at someone who's playing it for you
      You can do better :)

  • add "swallows" and I'd date you ;)

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    • I actually did swallow for him too.

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    • Anyways thanks! I will try to be more confident and screen better for he guys I get involved with.

    • you're welcome and that's the spirit: No matter WHAT happens in your life, what matters is 100% in your control: What you take from it; how you decide to allow it to define you. The worst relationship I was ever in (my marriage) nearly destroyed me-but that's the one that let me rebuild myself nearly from scratch and fill the holes... so my worst enemy is REALLY my best friend-who challenges us to grow more than our enemies. Never be a victim, always be a survivor-become better from every experience and you'll be amazing soon enough :)

  • I wouldn't be interested in dating. You should question your character, be unlikely to find someone with character that's big on parting. You should change how you select people to be with.

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    • i dont understand what you mean big on parting?

      Yeah, a lot of people tell me the people I select are horrible and I need to get better. I tend to go for bad guys with a lot of emotional baggage.

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    • Yeah. I don't know why I go for guys that drink a lot or smoke. I don't hold standards and I guess that can seem unappealing. I want standards definitely. But I always seem to settle for less. I don't know why. That's where my insecurity comes in, I don't think I deserve something when I really do.

    • You seem kind hearted but you lack character like they do. You always go against yourself your integrity when you should always stay true to yourself. It's not easy to go against your feelings but it does get easier with time. Your insecurities are probably what you feel about yourself and not logical what you think about yourself. Feelings don't resent reality majority of time. You most likely don't have much if anything to be insecure about. You should take time to understand yourself do some soul searching.

  • If you were Indian, yea. That sounds pretty great.

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  • Yup you sound really cool

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  • Hows your fitness though?

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  • no, seems boring.

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  • Hm, not my type but thats ok, not everyones compatible.

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  • Three deal breakers I need to know first.
    1. How many people have you slept with?
    2. Do you watch anime?
    3. If you do, who do you ship?

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    • He was my first so only 1.
      Yeah I watch anime too

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    • Actually... You will hate me for this. Lol
      I don't like one piece, but I'm willing to watch if my boyfriend loves it. He loved it and I actually watched some of the anime he liked.

    • Just didn't click with you, huh?

  • You seem pretty cool to me mate.

    If you like British guys that are a bit wild, a bit strange and has a fucking top notch diamond geezer styled beard then we'd work well man.

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  • If you stop smoking and ask me for a date, yes

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