Guys, How to get him back after a misunderstanding?

Hi all, I have been dating a guy, we met 4 years ago, we dated a bit then, he broke it off. He called after 3 years apologizing and we started dating again 3 months ago. About two weeks ago he found out he has testicular cancer, had a surgery and is awaiting results to see if he is clean or what comes next. Sunday evening, I was being stupid and selfish and I texted him that I wanted to see him as I want his advice on something and that if he ignores my text again, it probably means something. (he doesn't use Internet much or does not text unless it is to ask me to meet up about once a week since diagnosis) . He responded asking whats up, I did not want to go into details, ignorant stupid me, and just said I am thinking of the future and I want his opinion on something and I also hope to see him more often. Back then I did not realize how that sounds to someone who does not know what happens in a week, next Tuesday he gets the results. He texted then we should stop seeing each other, that he does not want to see me, he had been thinking and he does not want to do anything he is not sure about and to please, not text him. He would not pick up the phone afterwards. After I realized what I had done I feel terrible. I texted him two days after the fight, saying I am ever so sorry for being selfish, and that I want to keep in touch as I care for him. No response, of course. What do I do? It is a silly way to end things because of a misunderstanding and he is in a hard life situation I really do not want to stop fighting for him and be there for him. It is not up to me I know, any advice? I think, maybe I should try calling him next week after he gets his results and see how it went? Any advice, as detailed as you can is appreciated. I think this might be the one for me, since the love lasted over the years even without contact, it is heartbreaking if it should end this way. Thank you very much!


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What Guys Said 2

  • First off, you're not stupid for not going into details over text. For future reference whenever you're in a position that you need opinions or simply would like to talk to someone. Don't do it over text, same vice versa. Dont push someone to go into something they may not want to over text. It does nothing at all.

    Now with the rest of the situation.. its clear that this person is going through hell and back. We are talking about cancer. And even more so testicular cancer. His mind must be in many different places. And unfortunately he might not even be focusing on you or what you had/have. He has however FOR NOW made it clear that he doesn't want you to contact him for obvious reasons.

    From my understanding, its clear that you said sorry and you've identified what it was that you did was wrong. I wouldn't do anything yet. I would leave it a week and leave a voicemail. Explain what it is that you feel for him and explain that again you're sorry and you realised what you did. But the most important part... is to be clear and leave it on the idea that IF he needs someone to talk to.. that you are available. Leave it as that and just go about your normal life. dont think about it and definitely don't dwell on the situation. Give him space and don't chase after the voicemail. Dont call him dont message him dont do anything. Focus on yourself.

    IF he wants something.. he will make that clear. IF he doesn't then its just time to move on and realise his situation is too much even for yourself. You did what you could. said what you could and thats it. You will not be a bad person for doing that. Hope this helps. Feel free to message me if you would like some more insight.

    • Hi.

      Thank you for taking the time to reply. It helped a lot I appreciate it. This whole mess I made from just trying to get advice on which kitchen I should buy for my apartment and wording it horribly wrong:D I do not have a voicemail option it is not used where I live so I will have to figure out whether to text or hope he picks up my call next week after he knows his results and hopefully figure out what to say.

      Thanks again for your time.

  • sorry for the language
    leave the damn guy alone u stupid bitch he might have cancer and u ask about future how stupid are u
    he said don't talk to me is it hard to undetstand

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