How to tell him I need him to make up his mind or back down?

Why does this not work: Met a guy 3 months ago (we knew each other before and had a strong bond, as friends), hit it off, seen each other 3x since. Been in bed together all times but never all the way, his choice. He lives 4 hours away and is 6 years younger. We talk everyday and god i like him. He likes me too, i know. Both are single.

He does not want to take this further (i assume) but if i take a step back he half flips as he "cares so much about me"
I can not go on like this. I want him but im not waiting.

How do i tell him that i do need him to back off without sounding harsh, accusing, too strong? I need him to back down so i can continue my life and put it behind me and i just want the friendship back.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Just sit down with him over lunch and say that he needs to jump in or get off of the diving board. Don't sound angry about it just say it normally. Let it sink in for a few seconds and then start up a conversation with him about something else if he does not want to talk about it.

    • I will. And as he probably loves to talk about something else instead (he is an expert an avoiding the "real" questions and subjects) i will try to make it clear that was it.
      But as he is so difficult with saying what he wants, do you think writing or talking is easier? We live far apart so a lunch is not eadily planned

    • Maybe a short letter might be easier if having a lunch with him is hard to do.

  • He's gay but in denial.


What Girls Said 1

  • Tell him that directly. "Do you want us to be exclusive or not? Because I am only interested about something serious and I cannot do this anymore"
    If he says no, then block his ass from your social media and move on with your life.

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