Insane Anxiety asking a girl out. Can anyone help?

I've known this girl for 4 years now and we've hung out a few times. We are both in different social groups at our university, so don't see each other often. We also both have busy schedules which makes it extremely difficult to meet up.

She is extremely beautiful and down to earth. She had goals and is a hard worker. This girl is the definition of wife material. Being in my senior year, I've decided to really work on finding a potential long term partner. She always has a smile on around me and we always have a good time together. We have the same views and goals in life and just get along great. I don't think I'm particularly good looking right now. Got a bit of a beer belly and just not all that confident. I've been through a lot recently with a couple friend suicides and medical concerns. While going through all that, I just sort of let myself go. Thing is, that me is the only me that she knows. I've never been good at talking to girls. And, truthfully only had 1 real girl friend back in middle school, who I asked out over text.

This girl would not appreciate being asked out over text. So I want to find a way to ask her out in person. I always get too nervous and chicken out. I should also add that sophomore year, we matched on tinder. Two days later, i saw her and we were talking and she mentioned that she just got asked out on a date the day before. She wound up dating him for about 5 months.

What is the best way to approach her? Its a new year, and we haven't seen each other yet. We haven't texted either except for a few snapchats. Is it cool to just ask her out for coffee and then ask her on a date? How do I deal with the nervousness? And whats a line I can use to ask her out? Best I have is "When are you free? Because, i'd like to take you out on a date."

Update: Went to a football game today with some friends. Before going in the stadium she spotted me and ran up and gave me a hug out of nowhere. My friends and I sat with her and her friend she was with. I was next to her most of the game and she kept bumping into me. Is this good or am I just ready too much into things. We talked quite a bit and had fun. I just haven't asked her to meet up on our own yet. But was curious if this was a good sign?


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What Girls Said 2

  • I think with this girl you need to bite the bullet and ask her out and ask her out directly. Due to your history, you need to make it clear from the get-go that you are asking her out on a date.

    If you can't do that, I would not bother asking her out. Any chance you have moving from the friend-zone to dating has to do with your confidence in asking her out directly and handling the consequences of her answer.

    My advice is, ask her directly and without exception that you are asking her on a date. Her response to that question will tell you everything you need to know.

  • Why don't you ask for her help with something as then it takes the pressure off it being an actual date? Does she work out? If so, say that it may seem a bit cheeky but you haven't been to the gym in ages, say she looks amazing so she clearly does and ask if she would mind helping you with a couple of work outs or something - tackle 2 issues at once, get back in shape to increase your confidence and spend time with the girl you like. Good luck x


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