Are my cousin & parents right? Am I attracted to "losers"?

I'd like your guys' lovely opinions on this matter because I don't see it how others do.

I have a "type." I am very picky. VERY picky. When I tell my cousin & parents, they think "oh she wants an established, good looking man, etc" buuuut my type is just very particular and not the most common. Because I am an independent woman, I don't care if the guy I am with is making a steady income. I don't consider it. I am more interested in his intelligence and ability to connect with me more. I've always been attracted to those loner, drifter men.. The ones who go against the grain, are wickedly smart, and dark in nature. It's how I am and I want someone similar.

Now, my cousin is a 35-year-old business man. He thinks he is so good looking, was such a player back in the day, blah blah. He thinks I'm a goddess, gorgeous and should have every man at my feet. He was curious what guy I was currently interested in, and he FREAKED out on me. He said "Men like me would eat this guy for breakfast!" "He's such a loser!!!" "Why are you interested in weirdos?" and "you deserve a clean cut man in a suit, not some unshaven dirty guy who has no money." My dad feels the same, as does my mom.

Maybe I'm young, but I want to be with my life partner, a best friend, for life. I don't want to marry someone because they have money and can "dress well" even if I dress up myself. I've always been attracted to men who are rebellious in nature and passionate. I want to be with someone who lives outside the lines and sees life as how I see it. I don't even know if I want a family; I'm more interested in a life partner and experiencing life together as we travel and pursue our passions. I see this potential in the guys I'm attracted to. Why are they considered "losers" by others? I don't get it?

I also don't buy into the materialistic society we live in, so that plays a huge role in my mate attractions


Most Helpful Guy

  • You haven't hit The Wall yet, so of course you're attracted to scumbags and losers. They're 'exciting', they make your 'gina tingle.

    In a few years, late 20s/early 30s (at MOST), once your looks have started to deteriorate and you've been pumped & dumped by a few dozen scumbags and losers, maybe have a kid or two by them, you'll find you're not getting as much attention from them and decide its "time to settle down" with a guy who has his shit together.

    Only, more and more of those men are waking up and saying Fuck It, I'm not gonna be some chick's Plan B. They realize that there are hotter girls with no scumbag history turning legal age every day (though, to be fair, most are already ruined by the time they turn legal).

    Just keep doing what you're doing. You're only young once, right? You've got the entire time from 33 until death to collect cats, refill antidepressant prescriptions, and reminisce on all the scumbags that used to plow you when you were in your prime. Don't let the thought of growing old by yourself dissuade you from riding as many scumbag cocks as you can now. Chances are no matter how many scumbags fill your holes, you will unfortunately (for him) be able to find some beta chump who believes in love and is happy to wife you up. Put in at least ten years before you pull the eject lever for your cash and prizes, though; the payout is bigger after ten years than it is before that.

    And pay no attention whatsoever to all those 30+ year old women writing the "Where Are All the Good Men?" articles. You'll (probably) find your True Chump... er, I mean, "Love" (haha haha! "Love"... LMMFAO!).

    Good luck!

    • All I hear in your response is a jealous, wannabe-alpha male who believes women are lower and should rely on men. Just because I want to live with a guy as I stated above doesn't mean I will have unsafe or unplanned sex, or have sex even frequently. I lost my virginity a year ago and have kept the number very small. I haven't had sex in months. If I'm able to provide for myself, then why would the pay from the male end matter? You're preaching as if I should be reliant on a man for money and happiness, and I'm arguing I want a man who is my best friend, not a good business partner. Good day.

    • I bet you think you're one of the "good men" too, burned by women who never gave you a "fair chance."

    • Lol... I'm not a wannabe anything, and I'm CERTAINLY not a "good man". LMFAO, not even close. I'm one of those scumbags, but at least I can admit it. I may be evil and a heartless bastard, but at least I'm honest. Well, this time, anyway.

Most Helpful Girl

  • " I also don't buy into the materialistic society we live in, so that plays a huge role in my mate attractions "
    I rarely say this on here, but I like you even though I don't know you. We see eye to eye. I wish I had a female friend like you. Heck, we even like the same type of men.
    Don't listen to anyone. No one has the right to tell you how to live your life and no one has the right to dictate what criteria you should have in regards to men.

    • Haha, awesome, thank you! It's nice to hear another female shares this take on dating & life. I bet we would get along (:

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • They are afraid they are irresponsible bums that only want you to support them.


What Girls Said 2

  • Too similar. That's Best type of guy.

  • to you, people like your cousin are losers. Go to who you are attracted to..