How to keep my individuality in a relationship?

I have a boyfriend and we've been together for around 7 months, but we both love the same things, we are into movies but he was such a horror fan before he met me but I got into the genre when I started talking to him, I'm in film school and I've loved films my entire life but now, since I have someone to share this passion with, I feel like I'm copying him for liking horror and my mind tricks me into thinking I only like these things because of him, only because he was the one who introduced me to the genre, now I can't really tell what I like and what I don't, if I'm doing this for myself or because I want him to find me more interesting. I surely don't like horror because of him, but my mind makes me think I do and I have a hard time deciding what I like or not, we spend a lot of time together and I love that I just wanna keep my individuality a bit more so I don't feel guilty for liking the same things as him, I just don't know how.


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What Guys Said 1

  • First off, you're overthinking this a bit. Just ask yourself if you'd jump off a cliff if he did and that answer reflects your individuality better. Watch a horror movie without him and see if you like it, to regain your bearings about that specific issue.

    • Overthinking is my main issue 😅. And yes I enjoy horror things without him, but like I said, he was the one who introduced me to it and my friends have asked me if I didn't like those things only because it was him, and that caused a huge issue because I've been hurt before and in past relationships I've shared too much with my partner, and when they left I realized I didn't enjoy certain things without them, so that's what I wanna avoid, I wanna make that my own thing but he's into it as much as I am :/ .

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    • I think I would spend a long time being single so I can find myself, I'm gonna try to distant myself from him when it comes to sharing that specifically, to see if it alters anything. If it doesn't change anything then I think what's making me feel guilty is that I enjoy the fact I can share something I love with him and that's a nice bond we might have 🤔.

    • Whatever works then. Keep your options open and try not to repeat your mistakes.

What Girls Said 1

  • It's perfectly normal to affect each other while you're in a relationship. It's healthy and there is nothing wrong with that. However, it's also healthy to keep your individuality as well. Do you remember the things you enjoyed doing while you were not in a relationship with him? If yes, then you should keep doing them, no matter if he likes them or not.