Dating apps have ruined my confidence. How normal is this?

Hey people, I'm a 21 year old living in a very busy urban area. I get out quite a bit, mostly by myself, and I like to take walks around the city and visit stores and the like. Aside from that, I like watching Netflix and play video games at times.

Now, I've always been single all of my life and I've been wanting to take my chances at a relationship. I always figured I'm looking not an extremely ugly guy (pics on my profile, imgur link) so I figured I could be hitting it off with some women at least. Nope. No matches at all. On Tinder I only match with bots, and on the other apps I never match with anyone.

As you might imagine, this has made me doubt my self image quite a bit. Maybe I'm not as good looking as I thought. Friends of mine have no issue with these apps but I do... Makes me really doubt myself. Any of you guys / girls had the same experience? Any tips? I know meeting people in real life is always a better way to go, but I don't go clubbing really and my culture is quite a 'distant' one. We don't talk to strangers and the like.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You're not ugly, but you don't smile very well. Honestly, you'd look better if you took black and white pictures. It'd make you look more mysterious.

    But... you're 21. I would think you wouldn't need a dating site yet. Why don't you actually go out and try to meet women?

    • Good call, I've heard the same thing about samiling in my pics actually, lol. And I don't know, I've always been a kind of a introvert guy; I can't flirt at all in person and I treat everyone the same, which is friendly. I'm a very friendly guy and I'd call myself confident in real life too, but I just don't flirt with people.

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    • I feel the same way. I don't get boyfriends easily and it makes me sad, even depressed at least 3 or 4 times a week. All my friends are getting married and having babies and I have a career and dog. I mean, I like having those things, but it's just doesn't mean as much without having someone to share it with so I get what you mean.

      Why not ask your friends to set you up on a blind date or something? I'm not sure guys do that. Girls do.

    • I understand what you mean. Sorry to hear that :(.

      I've lately been working on developing my personality more and going out of the house more and I'm hoping that'll mean I'll get to meet new people. I hope I'll just meet someone awesome in the park or something one day and we'll hit it off. I'm not sure. What I am sure off is that I should delete these apps. I don't think I'm photogenetic enough :p

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 1

  • i tried plenty of fish once a couple years ago and didn't get a single date or even a phone # , yet if I walk into a bar I could meet girls and they'd talk to me especially once they knew me so maybe your reading too much into this , its more important being able to meet girls in real life then through apps.

    • Right, yeah. That's what the rational part of my brain is trying to tell me as well. I'm trying to work on that aspect of my live currently, I used to be a real geek, only playing videogames all day. Nowadays I try to get out more and read books and the like. I'm trying to change I suppose, and I'm hoping I'll be too distracted to focus on women

    • of course if you just sit around and play video games and read books your not going to meet any girls or learn any skills that would allow you to meet one , you have to get out there and meet them in person to have a better chance of finding one

    • Aye, well said. That's why I'm currently trying to force myself out of my house as much as possible, just exploring my city and the parks and all. I don't talk much with people though, because having a stranger talk to you out of the blue seems inappropriate

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