He seemed really into me but told me he flirts with a lot of women online?

Had been on a 3rd date with a guy and we seemed to be really hitting it off. Wonderful chemistry... couldn't get enough of each other... no sex but almost sex with our clothes on, lol. We were at my place 'watching a movie'.

He got home that night to send me kisses via an app on Facebook and I returned them. But then he deleted them from my page so I assumed he was hiding them from someone and confronted him. He said he had nothing to hide and replaced the kisses... I told him that wasn't necessary.

He then told me that I was the only one he was seeing and kissing, but he chats and flirts with many women online. While I understand that we were not in an exclusive relationship, I found it a huge turn-off to be told that and also felt he's just playing around with a lot of women. I decided I didn't want anything to do with it so reacted by deleting him from Facebook and MySpace. He then texted to find out what was wrong and I told him I didn't want to be played. He said that if I had asked, he would have stopped the flirting. I told him that I don't believe in asking people to change, then he got mad, said I was insecure and it all ended on bad terms almost a week ago.

What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think he's a player? What do you think of him telling me he flirts with lots of women? I respect the honesty, however, I'd like to be shown that he's attracted to me... not coming home flirting with others. Did I over-react? If so, is there anything I can do about it? Any other thoughts? Should I just forget him and move on? I really liked this guy and miss him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm gonna take his side in all this. he was being upfront and honest with a person whom he just started dating. maybe he told you because he WANTED you to tell him to stop. He certainly could have been willing to stop "playing" so much on line and devote more time to you and your budding relationship. Look, guys like to flirt and be desired, or at least still feel they have "game". Doesn't mean he is going to act on any of it if he is with you. Flirting is harmless unless the other person takes it too far.

    • Ok... I can see that point of view and have seen it since the issue arose, but I can also see my point of view, which is why I did what I did. Do you think I should contact him or would that look really desperate?

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    • So we texted back and forth a bit today. My first text told him that I missed him, respected his honesty and realize we were not in a relationship so we were both free to flirt with others. Then I said... Can we be friends? He replied yes, then we chatted a bit, then that was the end. Now I don't know what to do. Should I just let it be? Should I contact him? What do you think?

    • Good. So be his friend for a little bit. baby steps. sometimes to a guy, having a girl be a friend is a perfect start to a good relationship. friends hang out, date, have fun together, but they don't have sex. people in a relationship (imo) have sex. hold out on that until he and you are clear that sex = dating exclusively......if that is what you want, which it sounds like you do

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