Does he actually care and love me anymore?

I've been in a kinda good relationship for over 3 years now and the past 6 months my fella has been really distant. He is on his phone more often, would rather spent all weekend with his friends even though we both work all week (him days and me nights) so we dont see each other as much anymore. We don't go out. We don't even go to the shop anymore. I get constantly accused of being lazy even though on my days off all I do is the housework and cooking. And just last night he started a massive argument just because i was wrecked and having a nap on the sofa before I done the dishes. (he doesn't do any housework fyi) and said that the relationship isn't going anywhere. So I slept on the sofa bed for the first time in the relationship. Am I being naive and hoping this attitude will change or is it truly over? The worst part is I live so far away from home and my dad passed away before Christmas last year so I have no family... And he knows this. Any advice will truly help me make the move out of here better.


Most Helpful Guy

  • From my perspective it seems he is becoming distant because there isn't a real connection there because, like you said, you work nights and he works days. There isn't a whole lot of time in between for you both to hang out and the fact that he yells at you to do something on your days off is crazy. He needs to back off. You work and he does too but he doesn't seem to understand that your trying to make things work out.

    I hope this works.

    • We have always worked those kinda shifts and they have worked for us for 3 years... We always had the weekend together to do stuff together. But its just been recently that he has been taking me for granted. I know there is something else going on because when I text or call I just get nothing or his answer phone and about a couple hours later I get a ignorant "What?" And if I dont answer or text back straight away I get abuse like "you better not be doin anyfink u shouldn't!! I mean it!!!"

    • That is stupid love. If he is being abusive about it then leave him. I had a guy like that and he always did this

Most Helpful Girl

  • If he makes you feel bad instead of good the majority of the time then unfortunately honey I think it has come to an end. You say he's a ticking time bomb when you try to talk to him, then you are unable to have a decent adult conversation with him and frankly relationships can't get better without communication. I've been in this situation, literally just recently (was a four year relationship). So I know how hard it is and the connection is hard to break with someone especially after being with them for 3+yrs. My boyfriend at the time had made me feel unwanted, lazy, constantly belittled me and I couldn't talk to him without being yelled at or him pointing the finger at me when I was clearly not the one in the wrong. I did everything, job, cleaning, bills taking care of my kid and he did nothing yet somehow I was lazy for wanting a nap or some me time or even asking him to help out sometimes. Even though we did have some good times every once in a while and laughed occasionally I came to realize I was always sad and unhappy and you shouldn't be with someone that makes you feel that way. You shouldn't be with someone that constantly puts you down and where the relationship is more one sided. You should be able to talk to your partner not fear to. I realized I deserved better and though it was extremely hard, I got myself out of the situation. I cried uncontrollably, had anxiety and panic attacks but I went through with it and am better for it. People like that suck the life out of you, you deserve someone who will feed your soul and make you happy to go home to them.


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What Guys Said 4

  • You sound like you would be an awesome girlfriend for anyone. Don't let him keep dragging your self-esteem down. You are better than that and you know it. Hold your head high knowing you deserve a better man than that.

    • Thank you hun. I genuinely don't have any self esteem left... I have to physically beg him to lend me £10 because I've ran out of something for... Well... You know... He belittles me in from of his friends and to be fair, they tell him that what he is doing is cruel and not fair on me and that he is very lucky to have such a home orientated girl like me.

    • Some guys just are never satisfied. And that is sad he makes you beg. You should be putting some of your money away for yourself

  • Talk it out with him.. 3 years are not a short time and the best way to anything is to talk and discuss.. Tell how you are feeling and be frank.. See what he has to say..
    I hope for the best...
    Good luck

    • That's the thing, everytime I try to talk to him its like talking to a ticking time bomb. Sometimes he sits in silence on the xbox or he will start to yell at me and completely lose his temper and I'm the one that gets upset.

    • that's damn rude

    • tell him that it's rude.. and he should stop taking you for granted..

  • it sounds to me like you two need to have an open and honest conversation to discuss how each of you feel about each other and the relationship


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