So far every guy I've attempted to get to know has only seen me as an object, someone they just want to to fuck.
I'm kind to everyone and I treat everyone the same, the way I'd like them to treat me. I don't make it a requirement to go on dates. I don't know anyone's money situation and would hate to put pressure on someone to have to spend money to hang out with me, so I'm cool with hanging out, playing video games, going on walks, etc. I try to keep myself open and I want to get to know people. And I don't give out any sexual vibes and purposely keep the conversation from turning to that. But no matter what I do no one wants the same thing in return. Just last night this guy dropped me off at home and ignored me the whole way there because I refused to have sex with him. He basically kicked me out.
I'm lost right now. I don't want to give up on guys but I hate being treated like this. I don't want men to see me as an object, I want the to see me as a person that's worth getting to know.
I like to look nice, and my hair is always done. I like clothes that cling to my body but I don't dress provocatively.
Most Helpful Guy
All I can tell you is what I've learned: We attract what we WANT to attract. Apparently you attract assholes (no offense). It's most likely you were treated poorly by a male father figure-thus you (without meaning to) go for similar behaviors in the men you date.
I say this as for a long time I attracted very exploitative women, abusive women, etc... who also treated ME like an object. At some point I realized, it had a lot to do with my childhood and related codependency issues. When you decide to make yourself happy-that you don't NEED a man, then and only then will you attract the right type... I'm pretty sure this rule is across the board. You do you first-then you'll find guys that want to know you, not do you. ;)2
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Most Helpful Girl
First of all you sound great! :) I would hang out with you at any given day! As a friend of course! :) But it seems like you have been unlucky and bumped in to just simply assholes.. This guy you mentioned just sounded like a complete dickhead.
Next time a guy asks you out, try to read his angle :) does he want to really get to know you, go on walks with you, help you with some different tasks? If so his intentions might be good!
Also you can try to throw out there that you have met assholes before and did not like the way they pressured you for sex. At least then he will be aware that this won't sail with you! :)1