Was I foolish to date a 16 year old girl when I was 20? Can someone give me more insight of what I am talking about?

We were never official. And we only went on 2 dates (it was really a weekend hookup). We lost our virginities to each other and she did not want a relationship.

But now that I reflect on it, I think I was living a dilusion, or a fantasy.

See, I never experienced young love as a teenager and that was something I regretted.

When I was with her, I was imagining it as almost like a teen romance. I feel like I convinced myself I was her age. It is really hard to explain. Like I imagined myself as being a young teenager everytime I kissed her on the bridge of her nose. I tried to replicate "young, innocent love"

But the thing was, I wasn't really aware I was loving a false image and I didn't really realize it wasn't the same.

I can't really explain it. Maybe someone could give me more insight.

  • You were foolish
    Vote A
  • No what you are saying is normal
    Vote B
  • See poll
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I sort of think many who date younger do so for similar reasons to you. That's why they all say stuff like he/she makes me feel young, or they love the innocence and things like that. Some, not all, are generally young minded themselves too and wouldn't do so well with somebody of their own age group.
    Some people date younger during a so called "mid-life crisis" too and do many things to take them back to younger years.

    • But still, it is not reality. And I feel like I portrayed myself falsely.

      Was I in a state of my life where I feared growing up? Absolutely. But the more I think about it, I feel as if I was making myself something I was not.

      For example, the teenager doesn't have the mindset of fullfilling something younger. They just are. In fact, many believe they should be treated as if they are an adult and want to take on being grown up. Me, however, it was the opposite. So therefore, it was false thinking.

    • Show All
    • ... plus I still feel like I can't explain it and it us frustrating beyond words.

    • Why were you harassing her?

      I think you just think too much. It is a good trait, but you're never letting yourself just "be" just push things out of your mind and do things instead.

Most Helpful Guy

  • nah its cool if it was legal, otherwise you may have a potential problem.

    • It is not the fact of legality that I was worried about.

      I am more worried about leading it based on false thinking, delusions, and fullfilling a false role.

    • shit man, just enjoy life.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I would say foolish is an understatement.

    • Care to explain without being insulting?

    • Show All
    • It wasn't about just banging her.

      I was living out a fantasy about the young love I missed out on as a kid. But I realize my thinking was paradoxial.

    • Plus I was only going to lose my virginity to another virgin.

      But I wanted something meaningful too.

  • It's illegal to date a teen when you're an adult anyways. Not to be rude. Just saying.

    • 16 is legal age of consent.

    • But was she a LEGAL adult

    • Not just that but also it's been 2 years what does it matter now

What Guys Said 1

  • IF it was legal, then the real issue is why are you hung up on it 2 years later?

    • Because I feel like I was living a false fantasy and for so long I thought it was real and it gave me comfort and good memories. But I feel all of it is null and void now because I feel like I was portraying a false image, thus the feelings an ld memories reciprocated back on her part are based on false perception.

    • It was two years ago... what does it matter now dude? If you're still hung on up it you're going to have a hard time coping with important shit throughout your life.