What makes you want your date to be your boyfriend/girlfriend?

How/when do you know you are serious about someone and that it's going somewhere? Or how would you know it's getting nowhere?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The way I see it, there are some traits that, in combination are rare, and when they present themselves, you have a very special girl.
    The thing about it, all women seem to think they exhibit these traits but instead of kidding themselves, they should really think about them as I speak for all guys and basically they all feel the way I do.
    1. Guys will look for signs that the girl has the capability to be trusted. Most people think they are trustworthy but trust is earned and when girls shy away from things because it's a rough patch in their life, if they don't work through problems or cut relationships off, if they change their goals or don't see things through or flakey with plans, if they dumped their ex for another guy, these are all traits that show they likely would not make a trustworthy girlfriend
    2. Selflessness: before electric doors in cars, the test was you were, as a man, to open the door for the girl and as you went into the drivers side door, if the girl unlocked the drivers side door as you walked around it, she was a keeper. That test is no longer available but don't think guys aren't evaluating the test's modern equaivelent tears showing the capability of being selfless and caring... the cell phone isn't helping
    3. Admiration/Respect and taking an interest in you.
    If a girl is taking an interest in a genuine way, because they are into you, not quizzing or interrogating you like it's some qualification test or nagging, you are a little young for this but girls tend to exhibit this trait and it takes all the fun away and it makes them seem like a pain in the ass and hard to please... also, just showing a 50/50 relationship is unlikely
    3. Passion: a girl who has taken an interest in something she devotes herself to. This does not mean traveling as that is not a sacrifice, whether it's botany or fashion, it is very attractive and she will be admired and respected
    4. Fun: self explanatory

    Now, whether girls know it or not, guys know, between 1-4% of girls can claim all do these traits and if they do, they have been asked for marriage already

    • And I might add, honestly, guys like myself date girls for years knowing they will never commit long term because they simply fail on #1-4, it typically can withstand 1-3 years before moving on

    • Then why do you stay? And for 1-3years too. Isn't it a waste of time and effort if you alr see no future with the girl? Or is it you're just not looking for a girlfriend/wife?

    • Sorry don't mean to be rude and probe into your personal life, but I asked because I thought that each person's choices/direction they take and their beliefs makes a lot of difference. It's alright if you're uncomfortable with sharing that part :)

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What Guys Said 3

  • There is no criteria for me. It's just usually a moment. It has been different with each girlfriend I've had. It just this moment when I will be looking at her just doing something I've seen her do a million times and I just feel joy that she is around. Then I know. Or when she does something fun and spontaneous for me. Something that just makes you feel like this person is definitely thinking of me all the time. You just have to know, you can't try and think your way into it. Just enjoy the time you spend together and try not to think about the future. When you're invested 100% in that moment whenever you're with him, then you will know weather it is for real, or you're just not that into it.

    • Thank you so much for the advice! I agree that having fun and enjoying the time together is the most important, but isn't it scary to invest 100% when you don't know whether he feels the same way? Embarrassing too :(

    • There is no love without trust, and there is no trust without the possibility of being taken advantage of. You can live your life never trusting anyone, or you can know that some will let you down and others will not. Weather someone takes advantage of your trust or not is in no way a reflection of you, it is validation of them being untrustworthy.

  • its all about developing feelings strongly

    • What I mean is, how strong? When is that and how does it show for you?

    • when u start thinking of him everytime, his thoughts make u smile , and the urge not to leave when u r with him etc..

    • How then would I know if he is also feeling the same way?

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