Understanding the hot and cold dance and how I should handle it the situation?

I met a girl online recently. We talked before that everyday she seemed very interested.

first date- we had a nice date and did some painting and dinner. Everything went well. Nothing was awkward all conversations flowed smoothly. Lots of eye contact and some good laughs.

Second date- went to the bar and everything continued right where it left off. We danced and had moments of connection then we were talking and she kissed me. Not a cheap kiss either it was passionate. She ended up at my house and I didn't want to just get in her pants cause I'm more respectful than that. I would clearly like more than sex so we just cuddled and went to bed. We had to be up early and would only have 4 hour sleep.

since that night she has been distant. Still talks with me daily but she is definitely distancing herself. We had plans today but she canceled them and said we can maybe go for a walk tonight.

im not overbearing with my emotions either. I haven't hassled her or anything. We haven't even really talked about that night either. I did let her know I had an amazing time with her. Now I'm sort of distancing myself yet still being respectful. Where does a guy go from here?

thanks everyone for any insight


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • You need to Go... Slow, Joe.
    I see Certain Sure Signs that with her 'Hot and cold dance,' she is Getting and Growing Cold duck Feet because she may Feel it is going Way too Fast for her.
    Have a talk with her. Lay things on the Love Line. Compromise and See if this might Save the Romance by Chance.
    Many times, along with Sex, when First into Stages of a Potential relationship, things go Sour or Look Like they are headed South.
    Good luck. xx

    • I have been going with the flow was letting it progress naturally. She surprised me with the kiss now she backs away? I left out a piece of the story. It was getting long.
      At the end of the night she asked if she could stay at my place. I asked her if I could stay at her instead because my house is on the process of being renovated. That somehow killed the mood. I tried correcting it and said as long as she doesn't mind a messy place I would love to have her over. She declined the second time and got in a cab with her guy friend ( he's only a friend). I texted her showing my disappointment. She called me asap like she was really concerned about how I felt. Thinking I was jealous of her friend. I assured her it wasn't jealousy just that the night ended on the wrong foot, so she asked if she could come over and so she did. I'm not sure how much that plays into it but it might inwould imagine.

    • This is showing me she is a Fickle Pickle who keeps changing her mind, distancing herself, not sure of you and who really knows how it goes with her so-Called "Friend" to the end. I don't trust the nor the situation of her cold duck feet. xx

What Guys Said 1

  • considering the interaction I would have actually talked about it. I've done this before where I don't want to sleep with a girl the first time we hang out if I really like her. I've found relationships built around sex tend to be fun for a few months than that wears off and you usually start noticing a lot of stuff you were overlooking in your sex daze.

    Its possible she was just looking for a hook-up and doesn't want a relationship which is usually why someone doesn't get together when you are laying in the same bed after a date.

    All you can do now that the time has passed is just play business as usual. Don't bother her, wait a week or so and pop up out of nowhere and ask her to hangout. If she doesn't want to, or blows you off stop talking to her and focus your energy on someone that's willing to accept it.