First of all, sorry for the length. So (not to be racist here) I'm a black girl, and I go to a white high school. I've always been know as the good girl since I was young. Apparently everyone likes me and I'm always having my butt commented on because it's huge lol. I'm outgoing, genuinely friendly, I consider myself intelligent, I act, sing, play an instrument, do track and field, and I'm a passionate lover mainly hip hop and contemporary dance which is also an activity I'm involved in. I don't know if it's because I'm not pretty or something even though people tell me I'm not. I'm not allowed to wear make up and really go to parties and such so that's why I've been told I can't ever get a relationship but I don't know. My friends also say it's because I'm in a white school ( again not being racist) and they said if I went to a black school I could get whoever I wanted. I just wanted some opinions.
Most Helpful Guy
I think it might have to do with being in a white school but not because of racism but because of fear. It's hard enough asking your own race out but to cross racial black/white lines is even harder. Most are afraid of rejection which is why it's so hard but most think the chance of rejection is a given when asking out a different race1
Most Helpful Girl
Yeah, I have a feeling it's the environment, and even if the guys were interested in you, they are either too nervous to approach you (becuase many white guys have said that black women aren't even interested in dating outside their race according to their experiences in approaching black women), or he's a coward or ashamed of approaching you because he's very restricted to the peer pressure of what his peers will have to say about it. I mean, you just never know what a person thinks of you. My sister has dated a white man for 10 years, and I spoke with future-brother in law about his experiences with black women. He said he almost dated one in school, but his father said something like "If you date a N**ger, My hand will go across your face" Something like that. SO, you also have pressure of parents who instill certain things into their kids. I admire the man my sister is dating becuase he's amazing!
But here's the thing, you're in high school. You're not done growing yet. So, cut some slack on how you look. I never dated in high school, but once I got into my twenties and started taking care of myself the guys flocked to me a little more. A white guy did ask me out and he wasn't ashamed. Took me out to eat and everything. Mexican men looked at me a lot. So, i mean... when you're that high school age, you're going to look goofy sometimes.
Don't worry about the makeup. That shouldn't determine how pretty you are anyway. Honestly, I think somebody like you would be great around a mixed group of people, and that way, it may not be such a pressuring environment for people to approach you more. Maybe when you age and mature a little more, and have more control over your life, you can venture out to all sorts of places and let yourself be seen.
But to an all or mostly white dominated school, I wouldn't expect it.1