Am I being taken for a fool?

This concerns me. After going down to meet the guy I'm dating, he wanted me to come again. I am thrilled to go down there and I don't mind spending the $. The thing is though he offered to pay 1/2, I found super cheap tickets and he told me too book them w/out an offer to pay for 1/2. He is going to come down as well, a little later, but has yet to book the tickets (said he was going to wait until he got paid). In the end we would spend the same amt of $ on tickets if we split both, just that I'm afraid I will be always footing the bill. I know he isn't well off and struggles, I accept that, but if I say I'm going to do something, I'll do it, even if it means saving up and stuff. The $ is not the issue for me, I am not materialistic, but if he offered to pay, I want him to actually fulfill his end. Is this a bad sign of an unequal relationship in the making? Just to repeat this isn't about the $, just the principle of things.

I dated a guy who was cheap and very egotistical, I didn't mind spending on us and he was so tight w/his $ when it came to me. I know this guy would cover food and activities, but I would also be paying for my hotel. Am I expecting too much?
I'm going to make sure he books the tickets to visit me (he told me leaves everything to the last minute).


Most Helpful Guy

  • I've done this with a girl that lived in another state. I would fly to see her every month of so, it was pretty casual. I never once asked her to pay for anything and I didn't care. For me it's fun to fly to another state for 2 days to go out on a date with a girl and come back home.

    However this happens to me so much because I travel so much I always meet girls that live in other states.

    My point being is that if you can afford to go visit him just have fun and go do it.

    • As I said, $ is not the issue here, I enjoy visiting him and find it well worth it. I am just very hesitant because I do not want to be taken advantage of.

    • Show All
    • I did book when flights are cheap, he lives in the same state by the way.

    • Must be a big ass state in order to need to fly (CA?) :P but yeah sounds like he need to get his act together if he wants to make this work out.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I totally understand your concern. You don't want him to take advantage of your kindness. If he did that would show he was selfish and a manipulator

    It's difficult to say at this stage if he's genuine, only time will tell. The only way to know for sure if he'll fulfill his end of the bargain is to just trust him.

    I'd be concerned too if he's leaving it until the last minute. Personally, I'd go with my gut. Ask yourself where your doubts are coming from. If it's just coz he's leaving it until the last minute then you'll just have to trust his word for now

    • Well I am def going to get on him for doing things last minute (in a nice way lol). The thing is if he leaves booking flights to the last minute they will 2x or 3x what they are right now, I know because I've stalked ticket prices.

    • Thanks for the MHO

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What Guys Said 1

  • No doubt. That guy's a deadbeat and it's ok to date a deadbeat if that's what you want. I've met plenty of women who justify their loser boyfriends by trying to couch it as some sort of modern, feminist thing (i. e. I can pay for things myself and don't need a guy to do it) but the fact is you described a guy who is always going to have you foot the bill.


What Girls Said 0

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