There is a guy in my APA writing class I started seeing a couple weeks ago. He's a real sweetie, but he has a lot of damage. He's been cheated on several times, including by his fiancée. I think we could have a nice relationship. Is there any way I can earn his trust? I think we could have a nice relationship.
I'm not the cheating type, but I accept that he doesn't realize that yet. I told him that I want to take things slow, and that I'm not interested in sex until after marriage (we'll see how my will power holds up, lol). I don't really know what else to do... I'm a pretty transparent person, even if I've done something wrong. I'd really just like to have a healthy, normal relationship. If it really gets that bad, I'm the type to either confront the problem, or break up with the person. There is no reason to lie.
If you've ever been cheated one, what would you want your partner to do? I'd really appreciate more than two responses. Thanks in advance.
Most Helpful Guy
Am here now actually... Got cheated on by my wife! We stayed together and eventually 'got past it.' Well, she did. I can't seem to so for now it's fake it til I make it. But I digress... Ultimately it comes down to this, be there for him and make him feel as wanted as he really is to you, don't stop trying to win him over (as he should also do for you). Don't make him question your intentions with anyone else either. Eventually, (I believe) he will come around and see that you are different and/or at least worth a shot of letting his guard down. Time and effort.1
Most Helpful Girl
It takes time and patience. That's about all there is to it. You'll have to understand that certain times (depending on how bad he's had it) he's going to behave in ways that might seem seem overly cautious or annoyingly insecure to you, and that's something you're going to have to ease him out of. You sound like a good fit for the way he is in terms of helping him move on from it, so just keep doing what you're doing. Stay transparent, don't hide things from him, reassure him with both words and actions that you are there for him and him only and in it for the long run (assuming you are). Be honest with him always about how you feel and just show him that he CAN trust you and everything you say.1
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