Long distance online relationship?

I have been dating for about a year since my divorce (out of a 14 year marriage) wrapped up and I got custody of my daughter. I am picky in that I am not interested in casual relationships. I used an on line forum and had some pretty strict rule about not engaging in long distance relationships.but then I met K. who lives 16 hour car ride away in another state about 2 months ago.The emotional and intellectual connection was instantaneous but we have not had a chance to meet in person but that first meeting is coming up after nearly 3 months of an exclusively phone and email period of really getting to know each other ; we both just could not get away before this.And as that first in person meeting draws nearer it is inducing a bit of anxiety in her.She suddenly wants to "ration" our phone and emails because it was beginning to impact her waking hours and mine.I am not in disagreement with that but I am now developing some anxiety too.I am feeling a little insecure about the relationship for some reason.

Anyone have any experience with something like this and what if any advice?

Thanks for the responses.I will try to answer some of the points raised.We both know we want to meet in person sooner than later.we actually have a vacation planned later in the year.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I am in a long distance relationship that started online over 2 years ago. We took a vacation together last fall, which is when we got to meet face to face for the first time. I can't even begin to explain how wonderful it was. We have not seen each other since (face to face that is). We are planning another vacation again soon. I can say that if you are feeling insecure about something, it is very important that you discuss these issues with her. Friendship is the best foundation to build a relationship on. It is not easy being so far away from the man that I love, but, we both know that if this is meant to be that our love will be able to last for a while until we are ready to be together every day. As far as the communication goes, he and I generally talk every morning (there is an hour time difference) and usually once during the day, and usually we talk for a while before we go to bed. We send emails and chat online from time to time during the day also. That all depends on what is going on at work for the two of us. The most important thing is not only that you communicate, but you communicate about things that are important. (feelings, thoughts and ideas)


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What Girls Said 2

  • I don't have experience, but it sounds like you've set good standards for yourself and boundaries, and if you trust yourself, just continue with things the way they are, even if it means not spending as much time "together."

    *good luck!*


  • Ok, I've never online dated before but I have had long distance relationships. And most of the time our communication was via phone and internet rather than in person.

    Meeting someone online can be special for many people in that you have this intellectual connection with someone but you don't necessarily have to be "committed" to them. You have your own life, your own way of doing things, but at the end of the day, you can always have something to go back to. There is usually no "commitment" there. This Could be perfect for some people and the idea of meeting someone face to face that you've met online, could scare people. What if those feelings aren't there physically as they are mentally? Maybe that's what's scaring her away a little. Talk to her about how she's feeling and whether she thinks it might be too soon to meet in person. Hope this helps!


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