Is it best to leave?

My parents basically dont want me dating. They are extremely negative and always think the worst about everyone especially guys. They say things like "he's up to no good" "how do you know thats his real name" and "hes probably married"

I met someone a few months ago & we decided to be together. My parents seriously told me to take a picture of his ID card so they can do a background check on him. I declined and my dad has threatened to look at my phone records to get his number and read our conversations -_- its possible since we have a family plan

I am 23 and they are making me very unhappy and violent. The guy im seeing wants me to stay with him since my parents are making it impossible for us to see each other any other way.

They are trying to plan my life out for me and control who I spend time with, they told me there's no point in talking to my boyfriend because we are never living in that state again. Its like theyre saying I can't move out of state if I want.

Is this normal for parents to do?
Do you recommend I leave before something bad happens?
Let me know your opinions


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think that's normal unless your Pakistani or Isis or something like that. especial at your age. they can not like him till the cows come home but you're an adult and free to make your own choices. then them wanting to stalk him and stuff is creepy. my mom always gave me her opinion but then just let it be. I had my first child at 21. your parents are too protective

    • They are both American and decided to get married young after only 6 months of knowing each other so I don't understand the problem.

    • crazy. thanks mho

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What Girls Said 1

  • Its understandable that your parents are untrustworthy of certain people, especially if they sense something is not correct. Its easy for you to turn a blind eye, especially if you have been very sexual with him already as that will cloud your judgement. And no, I would not suggest that you go live with him. He is still a stranger to you and your still trying to know him. However your parents are not handling this the right way. And your age at 23 have 0 to do with it.

    Plus, why do you oppose a background check? Because I wouldn't eve have a problem with it. I don't care, I would agree to screening as I have nothing to hide. So why, again is it a problem? Your parents doesn't sound evil, and you need to stop making it out like that. Sure they may be screaming and yelling to the top of their lungs, but as long as they don't put their hands on you, your in no danger. If you feel you are then you need to speak to a family member instead. Because you running to your boyfriend when your parents probably never been this way before, actually tells me that your trying to be rebellious because you figure that your an adult 23. And your not acting like one.

    The fact is if this guy is mainly with you for sex and the benefits of you putting out in the relationship, and that is also why he wants you to move in with him. Just for those reasons. Even if he's nice, that's basically what it is. And your parents are only saying those things because they don't want you doing that while your dating. Not all men are users, but they don't want you doing the wrong things either. Now even though it is still your decision and choices, if something does happen to you, who to blame but yourself too? These days its getting really violent, evil and dangerous out here. You don't know who's who, and you have no idea who he really is yet. But you trust him so quickly. To me it, it just sounds like you want to escape no matter who its with or how wrong it maybe. Don't be desperate. Because that will get you into further trouble. So unless you have the funds for your own place, don't be foolish. If they are that dangerous you call the cops. Because god forbid they kick you out, he and you argue and fight, god forbid he or you get violent and he kicks you out too. Then where are you going to go? You'll be homeless. Again, make your parents feel at ease. One background check shouldn't hurt. They have the right to know, and if its not your phone, they can do whatever they want.

    • I haven't had sex with him and that has nothing to do with the situation. My parents have always been like this even when all I want is to be friends with a Male, I couldn't even talk to guys on MySpace when I was in HS. The background check isn't a problem I just think it's unnecessary.

    • @Asker Okay, but you have also stop fighting with them as well. You still have to honor your parents. You want to make your parents feel at ease. They may never be happy with you dating him, but that is not your decision to make when your underneath their roof. Because if you have nothing: no job, your own apartment/home, necessities your personally purchased, etc. What's going to happen is that if you move in with this guy, your going to be completely dependent on him for basically everything. He will control everything he gave you including you in his own, with his rules. And you have to show that your trustworthy even if they cannot trust who you associate with. So until then, you have the choice bare with it or not.