Am I just being stringed along/wasting time?

We went on our first date a little over a week ago. She said she had a good time and has continued to talk/text me since then. She'll send good night texts and sweet dreams, she'll say good morning and tends to reply fast (sometimes). She says she's shy, and I can see that she's a decently busy person with her job. I've let her know that I was interested in seeing her again, and that I was looking forward to it. To those, she sort of dodged the statement and replied to another part of the text.

I asked her on a more specific state about coming over to watch a movie and get some dinner. To that, she let me know she might have to work and she'd let me know. I guess I am confused at the fact she's continuing to text me and send me partially cute/endearing texts, yet seems to avoid wanting to do something again despite saying she had a good time on our first date.

I feel like I might be getting strung along, but I am terrible at reading people. I don't know if it's cause she's too shy, too busy, or what. Thanks!


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What Girls Said 2

  • When texting I've found that if the text has too many things to answer, I'll pick one and forget to answer the other. When you specifically texted about making plans, she gave you an actual reply. It could be that she's not ready for a nonpublic date. Try asking about something that doesn't involve your place/her place and see if she says yes. Might want to start off with something like "what night are you free this week? I was thinking we could..."
    If you still get an ambiguous answer, it might be a move on situation.

  • If she's replying fast and saying goodnight she's not stringing you along!!! I'm shy and if I like a guy it takes a lot for me to do all that because I hate texting first. I also hate overanalyzing and being so calculated. Sometimes I can't help but reply fast


What Guys Said 1

  • Assuming she's not stringing you along, I wouldn't be asking her to come over to your house this early, a lot of girls might assume you're just wanting her over for sex. Ask her out to somewhere public, if she says she can't and doesn't bother trying to reschedule, she's not interested. At which point you should move on and if she texts you with some talkative stuff afterwards, just give short replies and try and end the conversation in order to let her know that you're not interested in her if she's not interested in being more than a "text buddy" with you.

    • I suppose I should have mentioned that I only asked her over to my place as she made the suggestion to come back to mine after our first date and she didn't seem to keen on the idea of the activity I had planned as it would limit being able to talk.

    • In that case, I guess she's just lost interest. I've gotten into this downwards spiral before where I'll ask her out, she says she's busy and makes no attempt to reschedule, and I've held on to this stupid hope that it's genuine, so then I ask her out again the next week and it's the same story, she's busy again... Funny thing was she was never busy in the beginning. I've now got a level of self respect and I'll ask her out once and if she can't go, it's now her job to ask me out if she does want to go in the future, because I won't be asking her again, I'll be moving on.

    • Yeah -- I feel the same way, was sort of hoping that she'd ask to reschedule or bring it back up. I definitely have no intention of asking again as I dont want to send a flurry of 'lets do something' messages, seems desperate/needy.