Is he serious about me?

I met this polish guy 24F/28M on okcupid a month ago. In the first three weeks we went out once a week on saturdays, recent two weeks we met twice on thursdays and saturdays. Every date is 3- 11pm. We usually ate dinner in a restaurant then went to see a movie or just talked for 5 hours straight ( Its amazing how much we can talk with each other!) He remembered everything I told him, even suggested the movie I mentioned on first date. He always pays, we haven’t had sex yet, i told him i still had my v card he said don’t worry we took it slow. So 8 dates we only kissed without tongue, no make out. It seems perfect but there are several RED FLAGS.
1. I asked him what he was looking for. He said “I am open to anything”. Then he explained to me that you need to ride a bicycle before you decide whether you buy it or not. And he always overthink and overcommit in his past relationships. But I think if a guy is looking for long term relationship he will say” I am looking for long term relationship “.

2. He only texts me at 10pm every other day.( He got off work at 6 and not busy) Normally just set up next date, we exchanged at most 5 texts then it’s over. no how is your day text. AND HE NEVER CALLS ME. NEVER. i think if a guy likes me, he will want to listen to my voice. I mentioned it once he said he want 50-50 effort, if he constantly texts a girl once he stops it will be strange. When he was with his ex, he sent he a text, she didn’t reply then he panic and overthink things.
And he said what guys said was not important you should focus on what he did for you.
3. He invited me to his place on our third date. Although nothing happened, we just talked. I feel he is not that serious about me.
4. He still logs on the dating website like once or twice a week. (I stopped using it after our third date and created a fake profile to see his status)
5. after our fourth date, he sent me a text” it’s been four dates and i still want more of you, maybe there is something to it.”


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What Girls Said 3

  • Sounds like he's interested. As for "I am open to anything", it could be that he doesn't want to be firm about what he wants because he's afraid that it might not be what you want, and that he wants to be with you no matter what.

  • It seems like he could be serious, but I'd wait it out longer. Much longer. If he's still on the dating website then he may not be feeling so sure that he'll have you.

  • When he said 'I'm open to anything. I need to ride a bike before you decide' he literally was implying to 'I'm down for any kind of relationship (long term, hook up, fwb). We have sex and we not compatible, it's not happening between us.'
    You been on 8 freaking dates with no sexual things involved and he hasn't decided if he wants more or not?
    I don't think he's taking you seriously.
    Every guy is different.
    But the question is do you want to give up your vcard to a guy who still doesn't know if he wants to have a relationship with you or not?
    Many guys will be nice to you willing to wait if you are virgin. So don't be fooled by him waiting this long for you, being sweet and nice.