Do you think people are born gay or can someone turn gay?

I know a lot about gay people because most of my friends are gay and my sister's lesbian but I don't know if I can discuss this with her yet. I'm not ready. I like boys, I'm very sexually attracted to them. They play me a lot and I'm sick and tired of it, but I still am very attracted. I was pretty sure I was straight because I've had sex with a girl before and I didn't feel anything. When I had sex with the girl, she was my best friend and I thought she was pretty faced, but as shallow as it sounds, her body just didn't turn me on like that. Lately, I've been curious and I've actually been daydreaming about this one girl I met on a dating site. I hope she's interested... but is it possible to go back and forth from straight to gay? I'm really confused.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Something that is not a matter of belief, but is fact, is that the brain has plasticity.

    Brain plasticity is what gives us our ability to learn and adapt, it gives us the ability to change our nature, to alter how we think when given the motivation to do so.

    My belief is that, that very plasticity also gives us the ability to manipulate our sexual attraction and repulsion. It is not a difficult thing to develop a new fetish that one was not previously interested in, if given the right stimulus.

    Even Stockholm syndrome is possible due to plasticity.

    • So anyone can trick themselves as long as they have the will? It just amazes me because some people have known they were gay since the beginning and some people were in denial and from what they all told me, guys just felt wrong even if they tried to like it. Is there a certain limit to this plasticity? Do you think it possible to just keep switching attractions?

    • You can't really trick yourself in that way. So long as you know that you are attempting to trick yourself, it can't work. You can coax yourself though, you can motivate yourself toward a goal. It is like the effort put in to quitting smoking. You just have to take the right route in order to get to your goal.

      To my understanding, even the natural instinct to live can be nullified by willpower. You can mentally force yourself to die just by will, though usually only the extremely distraught manage it.

      The brain by it's very nature wants to keep the body alive. Things like boredom, sadness, hunger and so on that negatively affect the body, will be regarded as harmful to that process. That is part of the reason they feel unpleasant, because our brains push us to avoid them. If one can form an attachment like that to an idea, to a task, then the brain will add that very thing to it's priority list. It will push us toward whatever we want once it prioritizes it.

      Even healing injury.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Both can happen. People who claim that environmental factors do not play a role are clueless.

    • So if environmental factors could turn a person gay, could it also turn them straight? I love gay people, I would never want to turn anyone straight unless it was their own decision, but that is a valid question.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I believe that most people are born with their sexuality. I also think that many people are more sexually fluid then they would like to admit. They say that only 10% of the population is either completely straight ir completely gay, the other 80% have at least some wiggle room.

    • So I'm just sexually fluid and this was something I was born with? I've never fantasizes about women til now.

    • Yes, probably.

  • I have a friend He told me that when he was a teen he was perfectly fine, but when he started watching porn he started feeling attraction to men. When I spoke with him it felt he was a little bit confused who he is.

  • i dont know why people think it has to be one or the other... i think it is both

    • I don't think it has to be one way or the other. I'm just really confused rn. I was pretty sure I was straight like 2 weeks ago then I got feelings for a girl.

    • Show All
    • i think a person can be born gay and i also think people can choose it.. maybe you were born like that but you were in denial up until now. im not really sure

    • im guessing you were always like that but you just denied it.

What Girls Said 0

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